Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Thursday August 23, 2012. Why Men are Happier #2

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need – but it’s on sale.

WEDDINGS
Wedding dress $5000.
Tux rental $100.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 
QUOTES OF THE DAY
People who use unattributable and obviously made-up quotes to make some
clever point on the internet are the absolute worst. — Anonymous

The fabrication of Oscar Wilde quotes is among the noblest of endeavors. — Oscar Wilde

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but the living room in your fortified compound. — Kurt Vonnegut

Wear sunscreen. — Count Dracula

The use of CGI for Green Lantern’s costume is, frankly, a bit distracting.
I wish they hadn’t done that. — David Ben-Gurion

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
How many science fiction writers does it take to change a light bulb? Two, but it’s actually the same person doing it. He went back in time and met himself in the doorway and then the first one sat on the other one’s shoulder so that they were able to reach it. Then a major time paradox occurred and the entire room, light bulb, changer and all was blown out of existence.

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “You are such a boor.” [he misunderstands her comment, i.e., the following spelling change is correct] “A boar? I am no boar!”

Answer: Tom Jones! In this scene London resident Miss Western (Edith Evans) encounters her country farmer brother (Hugh Griffith) sprawled on a haystack and says the first line. He misunderstands her comment and replies with the second. She considers him an uncouth country bumpkin. He considers her a citified busybody. This hilarious movie tells the story of Tom Jones (played as a young adult by a young Albert Finney), a child of unknown parentage who is raised as a gentleman in 18th century England. In the 1964 Academy Awards “Tom Jones” won four Oscars, including Best Picture. “Tom Jones” is one of my all-time favorites (the version with Albert Finney, Susannah York, and Hugh Griffith).

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “I seen a wolf in everybody I ever met and I see a wolf in you.”
“Like a wolf, huh? You never seen a wolf in your life”

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
How quickly can you find out what is so unusual about this paragraph? It looks so ordinary that you would think that nothing is wrong with it at all, and, in fact, nothing is. But it is unusual. Why? If you study it and think about it, you may find out, but I am not going to assist you in any way. You must do it without coaching. No doubt, if you work at it for long, it will dawn on you. Who knows? Go to work and try your skill. Par is about half an hour.
ANSWER: The letter `e` , which is the most used letter in the alphabet, is missing from this paragraph.

 

Thursday’s Quizzlers is……….
Which of the following does not belong in the group?

Pipeye
Peepeye
Pupeye
Papeye
Poopeye
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org.www.hopeBUILD.org.www.Eucmaninc.net.www.wcscatering.com., http://www.Beaumont77.com., ww.schoons.com.,www.awj-law.com.,http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/.,http://cleancomedyguy.com/ http://www.simplycake.biz/www.chrissijforyourhair.com.

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