Things would be different!
Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay.
There’d be a cure for stretch marks.
Natural childbirth would become obsolete.
Morning sickness would rank as the nation’s number one health problem.
All methods of birth control would be improved to 100 percent effectiveness.
Children would be kept in the hospital until they were toilet trained.
Men would be eager to talk about commitment.
They wouldn’t think twins were quite so cute.
Fathers would demand that their sons be home from dates by 10:00pm.
Men could use their briefcases as diaper bags.
They’d have to stop saying, “I’m afraid I’ll drop him”.
Paternity suits would be a line of clothes.
They’d stay in bed for the entire nine months.
Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as an entree.
Women would rule the world!
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Tuesday people, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“You know when it comes to organic food, the USDA is very tough.
You can’t have anything that ends in ‘eetos.'” -Craig Ferguson
“A new survey found that 55 percent of men expect to pay on the first date.
While the other 45 percent have never been on a second date.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Pizza Hut has unveiled their newest pizza. It’s a pizza with a crust made out
of cream cheese-filled cones. They’re calling it the Autopsy Lovers Pizza.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Upset over a newlywed squabble with my husband, I went to my mother to complain. Trying to console me, my dad said that men are not all like this all the time. “Nonsense,” I said, inconsolable. “Men are good for only one thing!”
“Yes,” my mother interjected, “but how often do you have to parallel park?”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Why do you need a fake I.D.?” “So I can vote”.
Answer: The Breakfast Club! “The Breakfast Club”(1985) was a classic teen movie about a bunch of different kids who got stuck in an all-day Saturday detention together. Allison stole Brian’s wallet and found a fake I.D. Andrew asked why he had one, and Brian said that he needed it to vote.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “There’s a 30% chance that it’s already raining!”
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
What is this rebus?
ANSWER: Put your money where your mouth is
Tuesday’s Quizzlers is……….
Use the missing words or word fragments in the film titles below to make a festive phrase.
___ Golden Pond
Thelma ___ Louise
_____ _____ Hunting
The Road ___ Perdition
The Sum of ____ Fears
_____ in Black
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT SOLVING BANKS!
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. www.schoons.com. www.awj-Law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com. http://www.cleancomedyguy.com.