Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

319374_419558494763061_2076497684_nWELCOME to Monday March 25, 2013. I was planning…..

Here’s the list of everything that I had planned to do today on March 25th! Rake up the leaves in the yard, pick up the tree branches, cut the grass, clean out the gutters, trim the bushes in the front of the house, clean all of the weeds out of my wife’s flower garden, cut the tree branches growing out of the window wells and finally edge the yard with clippers.

Really that was what I had planned to do, but it snowed 12 inches of snow, you can even hear the poor birds shivering as they chip! Well maybe next time, today because of the snowfall I’ll be inside the house working on my computer as I consider shoveling the driveway! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Monday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

Guys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches. I wish I could. It’s like having a little pet for your face.
– Anita Wise

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry. – Rita Rudner

I went into a McDonald’s yesterday and said, “I’d like some fries.” The girl at the counter said, “Would you like some fries with that?” – Jay Leno

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
– Johnny Carson

Diplomacy is the art of saying “Nice doggie” until you can find a rock. -Will Rogers

Never moon a werewolf. – Mike Binder

If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight. – George Gobel

To do is to be. -Descartes
To be is to do. -Voltaire
Do be do be do. -Frank Sinatra

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Five surgeons were talking about the best patients…First surgeon says, “Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything on the inside is numbered.”

Second surgeon says, “Nah – librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”

Third surgeon responds, “Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded!”

Fourth surgeon intercedes,” I prefer lawyers.They’re heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and butts are interchangeable.”

To which the fifth surgeon, who has been quietly listening to the conversation, says, “I like engineers. They always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end.”

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “You have the most beautiful toes and I’m not even a foot guy.”

Answer: You, Me and Dupree! Carl Peterson (Matt Dillon) says this to his wife, Molly Peterson (Kate Hudson), one night in bed after getting married. Their newlywed life is crashed suddenly by the arrival of an unemployed, homeless friend Randy Dupree (Owen Wilson) who was the best man at their wedding. He was fired because he took time off work to attend their wedding. The arrival of Dupree creates problems between the newlyweds, as he takes their offer of a few days and extends it to a much, much longer period of time. Instead of looking for a job as he promised, he begins playing with the children of the street and hosting parties at the couple’s house. This mayhem is only increased further by the antics of Molly’s father, Mr. Thomson (Michael Douglas), also Carl’s boss, who constantly insists that Carl change his last name to Thomson rather than have Molly change hers to Peterson.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “When an individual acquires great power, the use or misuse of that power is everything. Will it be used for the greater good or will it be used for personal or destructive ends? Now this is a question we must all ask ourselves.”

Friday’s Quizzler is……….
The new accountant is putting together payroll. She is having a hard time remembering who does what in the office, which makes it hard to print out the pay checks. This is what she does know.

The secretary makes the least amount of money, and has worked there the shortest amount of time.

Jill makes less than the catering manager, but has worked there longer than everyone but the general manager.

The Sales Manager position pays $800.00.

The Administrative Assistant has worked there for 12 years.

The General Manager makes the most money because he has the highest position with the most experience.

Carla makes the least amount of money.

Laurie is the catering manager.

Warren has worked there for 10 years.

ANSWER: Carla – Secretary – $500 – 4 yrs
Jill – Admin. Asst. – $600 – 12 yrs
Laurie – Catering Manager – $700 – 6 yrs
Mike – General Manager – $900 – 15 yrs
Warren – Sales Manager – $800 – 10 yrs

Monday’s Quizzler is……….
I live above a star, and yet I never burn,
I have eleven neighbors, and yet none of them turn,
I am visited in sequence, first, last or in between,
PRS (& sometimes Q) are my initials,
Now, tell me what I mean.

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at LINKS2 CHECK OUT:

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