Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

553921_419704514748459_873848398_nWELCOME to Thursday May 23, 2013.  More Pondering….. 

Why are cigarettes sold in petrol stations when smoking is prohibited there?
 
* If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
 
* Why is abbreviation such a long word?
 
* Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
 
* Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
 
* What was the best thing before sliced bread?
 
* How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work in the mornings?
 
* Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
 
* If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
 
* Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
 
* I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen…and replaced by exact duplicates.
 
* Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect it back.
 
* Half the people you know are below average.
 
* How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
 
* My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
 
* Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
 
* How do I set my laser printer on stun?
 
* If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
 
* If most car accidents occur within five km’s of home, why doesn’t everyone just move 10 km’s away?
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! Emoji
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY 
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.
Helen Keller
It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.
Aristotle Onassis
Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.
Robert Louis Stevenson
Try to be like the turtle – at ease in your own shell.
Bill Copeland
Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.
Joseph Campbell
I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.  Audrey Hepburn
Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.
Martin Luther
Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.
Jim Rohn
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
Dear mum, I am writing you this note to say that I haven’t been honest to you lately. I have a boyfriend, his name is Dragon and he lives in a trailer in the woods he wears biker clothes and deals Ecstasy. I am moving in with him and I am four months pregnant. His friends will come over all the time so I can get a little friendly with them. We will make a living out of growing drugs and selling them to Dragons friends as are both already drug addicts, we will live a life of drugs, beer and lots of sex. Wish us luck Katie. P.S. – I am at the neighbors house, all of the above was a lie I just wanted to let you know there are worse things in life than my report card which is in the top drawer.
 
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “Listen. You listen to me. You see that city over there? THAT’S where I’m supposed to be. Not down here with the dogs, and the garbage, and last month’s newspapers blowing *back* and *forth*. I’ve had it with them, I’ve had it with you, I’ve had it with ALL THIS – *I want ROOM SERVICE*! I want the club sandwich, I want the cold Mexican beer, I want a $10,000-a-night hooker! I want my shirts laundered… like they do… at the Imperial Hotel… in Tokyo.”
 
Answer:  Johnny Mnemonic! The scene for this quote takes place as Mnemonic (Keanu Reeves) expresses his frustration in hiding in rundown areas to avoid being beheaded by the Street Preacher (Dolph Lundgren).
 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???
“Who is Keyser Soze? He is supposed to be Turkish. Some say his father was German. Nobody believed he was real. Nobody ever saw him or knew anybody that ever worked directly for him, but to hear Kobayashi tell it, anybody could have worked for Soze. You never knew. That was his power. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist. And like that, poof. He’s gone.”
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
This list of seventeen one-word items can be turned into common expressions by the addition of the same two new words, in the same order, to each. What are the two words?   books, bottle, brakes, bricks, ceiling, deck, dirt, fan, hay, jackpot, road, roof, sack, sauce, skids, spot, trail
ANSWER: Put the words *hit the* in front of any word on the list and it will make a common expression.
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
What phrase is shown here?
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS ANDREA L. BANKS(AGAIN!)FOR SUPER SOLVING WEDNESDAYS QUIZZLER OF THE DAY! SUPER JOB BANKS! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases!  EmojiLike this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. www.Eucman.freedom10.com.

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