Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏


WELCOME to Friday September 27, 2013.  

Famous Mothers…

“I don’t care what you’ve discovered,
you still could have written!”
“Can’t you paint on walls like other children?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to
get that stuff off the ceiling?”
“All right, if you aren’t hiding your report card
inside your jacket, take your hand out of
there and show me.”
“Again with the stovepipe hat? Can’t you just
wear a baseball cap like the other kids?”
“I’m not upset that your lamb followed you to school,
but I would like to know how he got a
better grade than you.”
“The next time I catch you throwing money across
the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!”
“Of course I’m proud that you invented the
electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!”
“I don’t care where you think you have to go,
young man, midnight is past your curfew.”
“But it’s your senior picture.
Can’t you do something about your hair . . .
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
“President Clinton is on the program tonight. We have a lot of security here. Even I had to go through security. I was frisked. I was groped. I was patted down. Then I got back in line.” -Dave Letterman
“California has been invaded by four new species of lizards, and they’re legless. Every time a new species is discovered, why is it some kind of slimy lizard or slug thing? Why can’t they discover a long-lost, extra-cute kitty cat or a super-cuddly ferret?” -Craig Ferguson
“Traffic has come to a complete stop in Hollywood because we have a huge free concert with Paul McCartney tonight. Either that or all of those people outside just fell for our biggest prank ever.” -Jimmy Kimmel
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A man and his friend were exiting a drugstore and at the front door there was a scale.
“Look, a scale,” the man said to his friend. “Let’s see how my new diet is working out.”
He stepped on the scale.
“I can’t believe it!” he said as he read the result. “I’ve been on this diet for two weeks but the scale says I’m heaver than I was before! How can that be?”
He pondered this as he stepped off the scale, then had a thought. He took off his jacket and handed it to his friend. “Here, hold my jacket,” he said.
The friend took the jacket as the man stepped back on the scale.
Not much change.
“Here,” he said as he handed his purchase from the drugstore to his friend. “Hold my Twinkies too.”
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???   “I’m sorry I called your wife a fat bloated warthog.” is said by Connor McLeod in which movie?
Answer: Highlander! Connor McLeod (Christopher Lambert) mutters this when he is in duel in Boston Commons, and is tired of getting stabbed repeatedly. This is one of the many flashback scenes in “Highlander” (1986). “Highlander” is the classic story of the immortal Connor McLeod and it goes from the Highlands of Scotland in 1538, when Connor is a young man and is first killed in battle, all the way up to 1986 New York where he is still alive and playing The Game. Immortals fight for the prize, and the last one standing gets all the powers of all the other immortals. Whoever wins gets to decide the fate of the world. 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???  “Must go faster. Must go faster. Go go go,” 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
What inference can you draw from the following statements:
1. Some alligators carry umbrellas in the shower.
2. Only those that know that flying fish live in trees prefer caramel candy to chocolate.
3. Certain days are set aside for alligators to watch rabbits play hockey.
4. Some large reptiles are steeplechasers.
5. Only steeplechasers can watch hockey games.
6.Those alligators that carry umbrellas in the shower know that flying fish live in the trees.
7. Those that prefer chocolate to caramel candy cannot be steeplechasers.
8. Steeplechasers are vegetarians.
ANSWER:  Only alligators that are vegetarians are allowed to watch rabbits play hockey.
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
The following great kings are together today in what common form?
King David
King Arthur
Charlemagne and
Julius Caesar

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at LINKS2 CHECK OUT:, 

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