Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

Funny-Tires-You-Need-Them-17

WELCOME to Wednesday, May 13, 2015.     

ELEVEN GREAT PUNS ABOUT THE LAW……. 

11) Lawyers wear law suits.

10) Next time you get a lawyer a drink, give him just-ice.

9) A lawyer using a facsimile machine must be sure to get his fax straight.

8) A lawyer for a church did some cross-examining.

7) Does a lawyer representing an angry cow find just cause for sour milk in a dairy case?

6) A detective likes to have a brief case.

5) The detective who went to investigate a burned down post office figured that it must be blackmail.

4) There are many judges who would like to acquit smoking.

3) Old judges never die, they just slur their sentences.

2) A police dog is often the scenter of a drug arrest.

1) If there’s one person you don’t want to interrupt in the middle of a sentence, it’s a judge. 

 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, 

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman! 

 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

“The man who reads nothing at all is better educated 

than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.” 

–Thomas Jefferson 

“Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.” 

–Danny Kaye 

“The important thing is not to stop questioning.” 

–Albert Einstein   

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

My husband and I often spell words so that our small children won’t understand what we’re saying. I didn’t realize what a habit this had become until one day when my husband and I were in the grocery store at the soup aisle.  An aggressive young woman banged into our cart, then nudged me over, blocking my access to the soup. Annoyed, I looked at my husband and said, “Boy is she r-u-d-e!”  “Yeah,” he replied, “but I’ll bet she can s-p-e-l-l.”

 

 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Oh, they work? Good, ’cause I just got them today.”     

Answer: About Last Night!  When Debbie (Demi Moore) and Dan (Rob Lowe) decide to turn their one-night-stand into a full-fledged relationship, they find themselves faced with uncertainty, distrust, and no support from their respective friends, Joan and Bernie.  “Oh they work? Good…” is Dan’s seemingly innocent reply to Debbie when, after romantically sliding a set of double headphones on them both, she says sarcastically, “I bet these have been put to a lot of use.”  

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Garfield, cover that head!”

   

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

I can be straight or not

I can be flat or round

I have three layers

The rounder I am – the straighter I am

I can be a person’s trademark

I can be chemically challenged

 

ANSWER: Hair! 

Straight hair is round in shape

Wavy or curly hair is flat in shape (the curlier the hair the flatter)

Hair consists of 3 layers – 

Cuticle (outer layer) 

Cortex (second layer) 

Medulla (center layer)

Chemically challenged – permed, tinted, bleached, etc.

Wednesday’s  Quizzler is……….

The following sentences have two blanks that can be filled with two words that are anagrams of each other. Please find those words. 

1. Mark’s math __________ was a mild-mannered man. But one thing he would not tolerate was a __________. He would immediately fail anyone caught doing so. 

2. The patient __________ his pain through physical therapy. He had seen enough __________ surgeries to know that too many people elected surgery when they shouldn’t have. 

3. After a long and successful career of serving his country, the nation was in shock as the highly regarded __________ was arrested and tried for __________.

 

THE QUIZZLER OF THE DAY GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS FOR SOLVING TUESDAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY! INCREDIBLE QUIZZING JOB BANKS! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orghttp://myinvitepay.com/?ref=225785

 

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