Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday, September 23, 2015.   

Thought Provoking Statements…………..

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories. 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman! 

 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY      

“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.” 

–Yogi Berra 

“If I could drop dead right now, I’d be the happiest man alive.” 

–Samuel Goldwyn 

“A good listener is usually thinking about something else.” 

–Kin Hubbard  

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A golfer stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity. Looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed–driving his partner nuts. 

Finally his exasperated partner says, “What’s taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!” 

The guy answers, “My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.” 

“Forget it, man, you’ll never hit her from here!” Emoji

  

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Maybe he took it while you were putting your clothes back on, dear.’ 

Answer:  Titanic! One of the few decent lines Cal gets in the movie.

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘You call yourself a patriot, and loyal subject to the crown?’

‘I don’t call myself subject to much at all.’

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

Four of us are in your field

But our differences keep us at yield

First, a one that is no fool

Though he resembles a gardener’s tool

Next, one difficult to split in two

And a girl once had one as big as her shoe

Then, to the mind, one’s a lovely bonder

And truancy makes it grow fonder

Last, a stem connecting dots of three

Knowing all this, what are we?

  

ANSWER: The Four Suits in a Deck of Standard Playing Cards

The Spade is a gardener’s tool.

The Diamond is the hardest gem to break. “Little Girl and Queen” is a Mother Goose rhyme, in which the Queen gave the girl a large diamond for picking the Queen some roses.

The Heart bonds with the mind to form “love.” “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

The Club, or Clover, is three dots connected around a stem.  

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

Here are some well-known expressions rewritten into “Cliff-ese”. For those of you who don’t know what that means, he was a very wordy person on the TV show “Cheers” and never used a small word where a larger one would work. Try to figure out the phrases in simpler terms. 

1. To place a primitive agricultural conveyance in a position anterior to the animal Equus caballus.

2. It requires a number of people greater than one to perform a terpsichorean series of low dips and twisting steps on the toes. 

3. To accumulate an excess of temperature beneath a circular, tight-fitting clothing component. 

4. Emanating from a culinary vessel into a site of pyrogenic activity.

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com

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