WELCOME to Thursday, September 24, 2015.
Here’s the story…………….
According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the Bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.
She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.
He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“A ‘Toy Story’ fan in England changed his name to Buzz Lightyear and was then refused a driver’s license until he changed his name back. Said the man, ‘To infinity–and the bus!'” -Seth Meyers
“Pope Francis said that married people should have more kids. When asked for comment, married people said the Pope should have a kid and then get back to us.” -Conan O’Brien
“A math blogger says he’s figured out ‘the world’s favorite number.’ It turns out that it’s 7. The least popular number? The fake phone number you get when you tell a girl you’re a math blogger.” -Jimmy Fallon
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
I was traveling through Georgia last summer and stopped at a little backwoods country store. In the men’s room there was a handwritten sign above the malfunctioning potty which said, “Please Wiggel Handel”.
Below that some wit had written, “If I do, will it wiggel Bach?”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘You call yourself a patriot, and loyal subject to the crown?’ ‘I don’t call myself subject to much at all.’
Answer: Last of the Mohicans! Nathaniel’s argument with a British Lieutanant.
Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘This is an incredibly romantic moment, and you’re ruining it here with me.’
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Here are some well-known expressions rewritten into “Cliff-ese”. For those of you who don’t know what that means, he was a very wordy person on the TV show “Cheers” and never used a small word where a larger one would work. Try to figure out the phrases in simpler terms.
1. To place a primitive agricultural conveyance in a position anterior to the animal Equus caballus.
2. It requires a number of people greater than one to perform a terpsichorean series of low dips and twisting steps on the toes.
3. To accumulate an excess of temperature beneath a circular, tight-fitting clothing component.
4. Emanating from a culinary vessel into a site of pyrogenic activity.
ANSWER: 1. Putting the cart before the horse.
2. It takes two to tango.
3. Get hot under the collar.
4. Out of the frying pan and into the fire.
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Here are some more well-known expressions rewritten into “Cliff-ese”. For those of you who don’t know what that means, he was a very wordy person on the TV show “Cheers” and never used a small word where a larger one would work. Try to figure out the phrases in simpler terms.
1. Projecting short, loud, canine-like noises erroneously toward the top of an incorrect arboreal plant.
2. To subject a slender illumination device to rapid carbonization on its antipodal points.
3. To slay a brace of avian creatures with just a single petrous conglomeration.
4. Like sending dense shelly concretions through the air to fall in front of stout-bodied, artiodactyl creatures.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/