WELCOME to Tuesday, November 10, 2015.
Toys and Religion
Adaptations of “He who dies with the most toys, wins.”
7th Day Adventist – He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.
Agnosticism – It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of difference.
Amish – Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
*Anarchist – We can play with anyone’s toys we want, whenever we want for as long as we want.
Anglican – They were our toys first.
Atheist – There is no toy maker.
Baptist – Once played, always played.
Baha’i – All toys are just fine with us.
Branch Davidian – He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
Calvinism – He who dies with the most toys was eternally predestined to win.
Capitalist – He who dies with the most toys, wins.
Catholicism – He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
Church of Christ Scientist – We are the toys.
Church of Christ – He whose toys make music, loses.
Communism – Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to hell if we catch you selling yours.
Confucianism – Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.
Democrat – My brother is bigger than your brother and he says you have to let me play with you.
Evolutionism – The toys made themselves.
Existentialism – Toys are a figment of your imagination.
Greek Orthodox – No, they were OURS first.
Hari Krishna – He who plays with the most toys, wins.
Hedonism – To heck with the rule book!? Let’s play!
Hinduism – He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.
Jehovah’s Witnesses – He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
Libertarian – No one is going to tell me what I can and can’t do with my toys.
Mormonism – Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.
New Age – Go stand in front of your mirror and contemplate your inner toy.
Non-denominationalism – We don’t care where the toys came from, let’s just play with them.
Pentecostalism – He whose toys can talk in unintelligible languages, wins.
Pantheism – All toys are interrelated or There are no toys–everything is sacred
Polytheism – There are many toy makers.
Republican – Let the kids keep their toys.
Satanist – I’m going to smash all your toys.
Socialist – My mom says you have to share that toy with me.
Taoism – The doll is as important as the dumptruck.
Theosophy – All toys came from the original One Toy.
Unitarian Universalist – I respect your toy even if you disrespect mine.
Voodoo – Let me borrow that doll for a second.
Wiccan – Let us breath in harmony with our Toys.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“It was announced that China officially ended its one-child policy this week, and will allow parents to have two children. Over the next few nights, the only thing that will be ‘made in China’ is love.” -Jimmy Fallon
“A drunk woman in Nebraska had to be hospitalized this weekend after she broke into a zoo because she wanted to pet a tiger and wound up being bitten by the animal. When asked how she’s doing, the woman said, ‘Not GR-R-R-REAT!'” -Seth Meyers
“I’ve been trying to say ‘I love you’ more often, starting this morning. I said it to my family before I left the house. And then to my barista. And then to her manager, when the barista complained that one of the customers was making her uncomfortable.” -Stephen Colbert
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child. The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It went like this:
“Some parents,” she said, “tell the older child, ‘We love you so much we decided to bring another child into this family.’ But think about that. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, ‘Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.'”
One of the women spoke up immediately. “Does she cook?”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Which 92? We did 17, we did 18. Oh, my god, it’s 1992, isn’t it? I’ve just wasted a whole century.”
Answer: Love Bites! After looking around in Kendall’s house and not recognizing anything, Zachary asks her what year it is, to which she impatiently answers “92!”
Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “You feel a lot of love for him, don’t you?” “We have a good arrangement.”
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
For each of the following clues, what is a synonym that contains the letters CAT?
3.What you get with a doctor’s prescription
5.Time off from school or work
ANSWER: 1.(cat)cher 2.dupli(cat)e 3.medi(cat)ion 4.(cat)acomb 5.va(cat)ion 6.de(cat)hlon
7.(cat)astrophe 8.copy(cat) 9.(cat)tle 10.edu(cat)or
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
From wood it’s made,
From string it’s made,
It floats upon the wind.
It’s made by one,
It’s made by many,
From hands and mouths it spins.
A score without a game.
A staff not for the lame.
With seven letters tamed.
With five letters named
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/