WELCOME to Thursday, January 14, 2016.
Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: 1 Knot-furlong
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it’s less filling: 1 lite year
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling
Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
1000 aches: 1 megahurtz
Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds
10 cards: 1 decacards
1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton
1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen
1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin
10 rations: 1 decoration
8 nickels: 2 paradigms
2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“China this weekend formally replaced its one-child policy with a new law allowing two children per family. That way, families will have one child to play with, while the other one’s at work.” -Seth Meyers
“A new study shows that monkeys can look at photos and recognize other monkeys they know. However, the study also shows that monkeys are terrible with names.” -Conan O’Brien
“A man in London just took Uber’s one-billionth ride, and to celebrate, Uber gave him a year’s worth of free rides. The man says he’s excited to spend the entire year drunk.” -Jimmy Fallon
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter “R” and all the other kids were, of course, teasing him about it.
To help him out, the teacher gave him a sentence to practice at home: “Robert gave Richard a rap in the ribs for roasting the rabbit so rare.” In class a few days later, the teacher asked the boy to recite the sentence out loud.
The boy nervously eyed his classmates – many of them already laughing at him – then replied, “Bob gave Dick a poke in the side because the bunny wasn’t cooked enough.”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘We might as well call prison and make reservations.’
Answer: Gone in Sixty Seconds! Mirror Man said this in the beginning of the movie when Kip goes to break the window with a brick.
Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘If you get this next note wrong we’ll all “B-Flat”!’ What movie is this?
A man hijacks an aeroplane transporting both passengers and valuable cargo. After taking the cargo, the man demands two parachutes, puts one of them on, and jumps, leaving the other behind. Why did he want two?
ANSWER: If the officials thought he was jumping with a hostage, they would never risk giving him a faulty parachute.
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Translate each word group into a phonetic sound, and then string them all together to form the name of a body of water.
polar or grizzly, finger jewelry, not curved
Translation… Bear, Ring, Straight
Answer… Bering Strait
1. Vehicle, curved bone, to exist, not yang, to look at
2. Circle segment, bloodsucking arachnid, to be in debt, tibia
3. Cat sound, dreidel letter, 18-hole sport
4. Unaffiliated film, Japanese currency, interjection, to eschew
5. Helper, flightless South American bird, clock sound, programming language
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/