Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday, March 16, 2016.    

Yes, I am a Senior Citizen………

I’m the life of the party – even if it lasts until 8 pm.

I’m very good at opening childproof caps – with a hammer.

I’m usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.

I’m smiling all the time because I can’t hear a thing you’re saying.

I’m very good at telling stories; over and over and over and over…………..

I’m not really grouchy, I just don’t like traffic, waiting, crowds, lawyers, loud music, unruly kids, barking dogs, politicians and a few other things I can’t seem to remember right now.

I’m wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that’s just my left leg.

I’m sure they are making adults much younger these days, and when did they let kids become policemen?  

And, how can my kids be older than I feel sometimes?

I’m wondering, if you’re only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?

I’m a walking storeroom of facts – I’ve just lost the key to the storeroom door.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

 “When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.” –Mark Twain

“Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.” –Lynda Barry

“To the soul, there is hardly anything more healing than friendship.”
–Thomas Moore 

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

Two elderly people are living in a retirement home near Fareham, he was a widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the big arena in the Clubhouse. The two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, ‘Will you marry me?’

After about six seconds of ‘careful consideration,’ she answered ‘Yes. Yes, I will!’

The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. ‘Did she say ‘yes’ or did she say ‘no’?’ He couldn’t remember.

Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained that he didn’t remember as well as he used to.

Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, ‘When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ‘ Yes’ or did you say ‘No’?’

He was delighted to hear her say, ‘Why, I said, ‘Yes, yes I will.’ and I meant it with all my heart.’

Then she continued, ‘And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn’t remember who had asked me.’

 

 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Well to make a long story short…’

‘Too late.’ 

Answer: Clue! What other characters — often simultaneously — said to Wadsworth at multiple points when he tried to explain things to the group. 

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘You’re shaving your chest now?!?’

‘I didn’t have time to wax.’

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

I can run swiftly and silently when you want me to stay still,

I can move slowly and cautiously and am yours to fill.

You look at me often and yet you always forget me,

I am the most feared killer, yet you can’t live without me.

Sometimes you have me for all to spare,

Yet when you need me, I am not there.

You can waste me, or cherish me, you choose the track,

But once you’re done you can never get me back.

 

ANSWER: Time 

 

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

The following are colloquialisms/idioms written in their literal form. This time though, there are only three that you need to find. 

Example: A Panthera Pardus is incapable of altering its texture. (A leopard can’t change its spots)

1. In the general area, but failing to acquire the roll of tobacco.

2. Please pardon my accidental use of a romance language derived from Latin.

3. Direct your attention to the melodic tones currently occurring.

 

 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD! GREAT JOB KIM!

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LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

 

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