Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, March 17, 2016. 

Contemplate The Eternal Question – Why?

Why.. does sun make us go dark?

Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why don’t we ever see this headline: Psychic Wins Lottery ?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a ‘Broker’?  

Who tastes dog food when it has a “new & improved” flavor?

Why isn’t there mouse flavored cat food?

Who tastes dog food when it has a ‘new & improved’ flavor?

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

Why do they call the airport ‘the terminal’ if flying is so safe?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“Every appliance with a clock should have a Daylight Savings button to push. You’d only use it twice a year, but that’s more than I use the ‘Potato’ button on my microwave.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“It’s Daylight Savings Time. Why does it have to happen on the weekend? Why can’t they do it on a Wednesday at 4:00? ‘Hey look, now it’s 5:00. Time to go home!'”-Stephen Colbert

“A Florida man went to court for the right to marry his laptop computer. He said his laptop is just like a wife because whenever he brings it into bed, it freezes.” -Conan O’BrienEmoji 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

Young Mia, only four years old, returned home from Wicor Nursery School complaining, ‘Mummy, I’ve got a stomach ache.’  ‘That’s because your stomach is empty,’ Sarah, her mother replied kindly. ‘You’ll feel better when you have something in it.’  She made Mia a small snack and sure enough, Mia felt better immediately.  Later that afternoon Mia’s class tutor dropped by to see Sarah. While she was chatting with Mia’s mum, she mentioned she’d had a bad headache all day long. Mia perked up straightaway and announced to her teacher, ‘That’s because it’s empty. You’d feel better if you had something in it!’ 

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘You’re shaving your chest now?!?’ ‘I didn’t have time to wax.’ 

Answer: The Birdcage! Albert, preparing before going on stage as Starina. 

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘We will remunerate with metallic tender-disks.’

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

The following are colloquialisms/idioms written in their literal form. This time though, there are only three that you need to find. 

Example: A Panthera Pardus is incapable of altering its texture. (A leopard can’t change its spots)

1. In the general area, but failing to acquire the roll of tobacco.

2. Please pardon my accidental use of a romance language derived from Latin.

3. Direct your attention to the melodic tones currently occurring. 

 

ANSWER: 1. Close but no Cigar–This means to come close to succeeding, but not quite reaching your goal.

2. Excuse my French–This is a term used when someone curses at an inappropriate time.

3. Face the Music–This means to accept what will happen, instead of running from it or denying it.  

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Sam the journalist has landed a job somewhere. The problem is, he doesn’t know where. All he knows is that it is in one of 6 cities lined up in a row in northern Canada: Eh Land, Hockeyville, Curling Town, Snowburg, New France, and Canada City. However his employer has left clues.

1. Curling Town is 2 cities away from the job’s location.

2. Hockeyville is 3 cities away from Snowburg.

3. Snowburg is on the right end.

4. New France is not the location.

5. Eh Land is 3 cities from Curling Town.

6. Canada City is 4 cities away from Snowburg.

7. Eh Land is next to the location and another place that isn’t the location.

Sam is lazy, so he is paying you to find out where he is working.

 

 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD & MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT JOB LADIES!

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LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  Emoji

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

 

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