WELCOME to Wednesday, September 14, 2016.
When chemists die, technicians barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
How does Moses like his tea. Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me …
I am reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
Why did Indians get to America first. They had reservations.
What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power. –Abraham Lincoln
“Instant gratification takes too long.” –Carrie Fisher
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.” –George Burns
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Every morning for years, at about 11:30, the telephone operator in a small Sierra-Nevada town received a call from a man asking the exact time.
One day the operator summed up nerve enough to ask him why the regularity.
‘I’m foreman of the local sawmill,’ he explained. ‘Every day I have to blow the whistle at noon so I call you to get the exact time.’
The operator giggled, ‘That’s really funny,’ she said. ‘All this time we’ve been setting our clock by your whistle.’
Confucius Say: Man with one watch always know what time it is – Man with two watches never sure.’
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Hey, wait a minute, man. Every time I do coke, you get on that ‘every-time-I-do-coke’ rap, man.”
ANSWER: Cheech and Chong’s Nice Dreams! Chong said this after Cheech accused him of doing stupid things whenever he was under the influence of the ‘nose candy’. Chong took a check for 17 million dollars from Howie the Hamburger Dude (Paul Reubens) in exchange for their hard-earned cash. Howie was actually a resident of the Casa del Whackos, where he lived with such colorful characters as the Chicken Man and the Superman Nut.
Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “You have disgraced yourself and you must be punished. Confine yourself to our royal suite at the Waldorf-Astoria. And see that he puts on some decent attire. And I want you to bathe him thoroughly.”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you determine the nursery rhyme being stated below?
Once upon a time there was this ovum consisting of an envelope of albumen, jelly and membranes which decided to moor its entirety on a parapet. Then rather suddenly, and without notice, the ovular succumbed to the Brobdingnagian gravitational pull. The result was that the entire embodiment of the paramount’s yeomanry and herbivores were unequal to the task of assemblage.
ANSWER: HUMPTY DUMPTY! Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall; All the king’s horses and all the King’s men Couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty together again.
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
What common, English word has the letters “WSP”, in that order, without any letters between?