Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏


WELCOME to Thursday, October 11, 2016.     

Dueling maxims…….

“The bigger the better”  “Good things come in small packages.”

“What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.” “One man’s meat is another man’s poison.”

“Birds of a feather flock together.” “Opposites attract.”

“Actions speak louder than words.” “The pen is mightier than the sword.”

“You’re never too old to learn.” “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”

“All good things come to those who wait.” “Time and tide wait for no man.”

“Many hands make light work.” “Too many cooks spoil the broth.”

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” “Out of sight, out of mind.”

“It’s better to be safe than sorry.” “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    



“Medical marijuana users are now lobbying for the right to carry firearms. Because no one is a better shot than a stoned old man with glaucoma.” -Conan O’Brien

“A new study found that dogs can actually feel genuine love for their owners. While cats just keep a journal of all the things they hate about you.” -Jimmy Fallon

“China has overtaken the United States as the world’s biggest food and grocery market. That means they buy and consume more food than we do. Which when you think about it of course they do. A half hour after they eat, they’re hungry again. It’s Chinese food.” -Jimmy Kimmel 

“My invention can detect human stupidity. It has a very simple interface. All I do is point it at people.”

“Then what does it do?”

“Why would it need to do anything else?” –Dogbert, Dilbert


G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A boy answers the phone. The caller asks, “Where are your parents?”

“They ain’t here!”

“Come on, son. Where’s your grammar?”

“My gramma ain’t here neither. She’s gone to church!”Emoji




Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “I would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel. You lousy cork-suckers. You have violated my fargin’ rights. This suminobatchin’ country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens – like me – could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin’ iceholes, like yourselves. Thank you.”

ANSWER:  Johnny Dangerously! Roman Moronie (Richard Dimitri) said this in court when he was on trial for murder and racketeering. The next day’s newspaper stated, “MORONIE DEPORTED TO SWEDEN. SAYS HE’S NOT FROM THERE”. “Johnny Dangerously” was an absolutely hilarious gangster spoof. It starred Michael Keaton in the title role, and featured the likes of Joe Piscopo, Peter Boyle, Marilu Henner, Danny DeVito and Griffin Dunne.

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “When you get through the ’80s, you’ll find that the ’90s make the ’60s look like the ’50s.”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

In this teaser you are required to find a word relating to mathematics hiding in consecutive letters within each sentence. Have fun!
Example: “They knew that they had done the wrong thing.”  Answer: ADD located in: “…hAD Done…”
1. The governor gave the budget a cut everywhere possible.
2. It is rumoured that Capri men often marry Naples women.
3. He drove his new Mustang entirely too recklessly.
4. Groucho and Harpo were two of the Marx brothers. 

ANSWER:  1. ACUTE (A CUT Everywhere)  2. PRIME (CaPRI MEn)  3. TANGENT (MusTANG ENTirely)   4. POWER (HarPO WERe)



Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

When telling a story
About flounder or dory,
I often end up far apart.
But when bowing your head
Or mourning your dead,
I’m together and close to your heart.
You may lend me or hold me
Or show me or fold me,
And all this is merely a start.
What am I?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at      


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