Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏


WELCOME to Wednesday, October 19, 2016.    


I started out with nothing…I still have most of it.

Some days you’re the dog, some days the hydrant.

I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.

Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded.

If all is not lost, where is it?

It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.

The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.

I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway through.

It was all so different before everything changed.

Nostalgia isn’t what is used to be.

Old programmers never die. They just terminate and stay resident.

A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle.

I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few.

It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip round the sun.

The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you’re in the bathroom.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).

If you’re living on the edge, make sure you’re wearing your seat belt.

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

It’s not hard to meet expenses…they’re everywhere.

Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.

Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.  

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    



“I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.” –Mark Twain 

“Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.” –Bob Newhart 

“What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on?”–Henry David Thoreau 

 There are many things of which a wise man might wish to be ignorant. –Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Ignorance, the root and the stem of every evil. –Plato

An ignorant person is one who doesn’t know what you have just found out. –Will Rogers 


G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

 I can remember the first time I did some missionary work on an Indian Reservation in the southwest of New Mexico. After we had built a couple of homes and we were getting ready to leave I asked the Chief if there was anything else we could do before we left. He asked if we could put in a light along the path to the outhouse. After doing it and leaving for home I realized that was the first time I had wired a head for a reservation.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Sure, sure, I’ve heard of grits. I’ve just never actually seen a grit before.”

ANSWER: My Cousin Vinny! Vinny (Joe Pesci) said this to the cook (Lou Walker) at the restaurant where Vinny and Lisa (Marisa Tomei) had breakfast. “Them hominy grits.” The menu listed three choices: Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. They chose breakfast. One of the funniest and best written comedies of all time.

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Our daddy may have advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage, but he’s a very gentle person.”

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

Lost in the woods, you come upon a mysterious stranger who hands you two large spheres made of two kinds of opaque marble. The spheres look the same, are the same size and have the same weight and apparent density; however, one is solid and the other hollow. The hollow sphere contains a tiny map that will enable you to navigate your way home. Unfortunately, you cannot break the spheres. The stranger agrees to open the sphere that contains the map only if you can determine which sphere is hollow. How do you determine which sphere is hollow? 

ANSWER:  Roll the spheres on a level flat surface. The hollow sphere will roll further because its mass is distributed away from the center giving it a higher moment of inertia. Alternatively, you could spin them and see which is harder to stop.



Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

Insert one word in each pair to link the two words together. The end of the first word is the beginning of the second.
1. Short __ __ __ __ Light
2. Arch __ __ __ Station
3. Dill __ __ __ __ __ __ Barrel
4. Corn __ __ __ __ __ Box
5. Bar __ __ __ __ __ Pigeon
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at      


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