WELCOME to Friday, November 11, 2016.
Here’s the story……
A fellow is getting ready to tee-off on the first hole when a second fellow approaches and asks if he can join him. The first says that he usually plays alone but agrees to let the second guy join him.
Both are even after the first couple of holes. The second guy says, “Say, we’re about evenly matched, how about we play for five bucks a hole?”
The first fellow says that he usually plays alone and doesn’t like to bet but agrees to the terms. Well, the second guy wins the rest of the holes and as they’re walking off of the eighteenth hole, and while counting his $80.00, he confesses that he’s the pro at a neighboring course and likes to pick on suckers.
The first fellow reveals that he’s the Parish Priest at the local Catholic Church to which the second fellow gets all flustered and apologetic and offers to give the Priest back his money. The Priest says, “No, no. You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings.”
The pro says, “Well, is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”
The Priest says, “Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation. Then, if you bring your mother and father by after Mass, I’ll marry them for you.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“Tomorrow we will elect either Biff from ‘Back to the Future’ or one of the robots from ‘Westworld.’ You will decide.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“This weekend, aides to Donald Trump have finally wrested away his Twitter account. What?! You can’t take away Trump’s Twitter account! That’s like taking away Batman’s utility belt! All you’re left with is a billionaire with anger issues.” -Stephen Colbert
“A new survey found that 46 percent of doctors have used Google or Yahoo to diagnose their patients’ symptoms. Yeah, last time I got sick, my doctor was like, ‘I’m sorry to tell you this, but you have ‘Server Not Responding.'” -Jimmy Fallon
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A young man had just graduated from Harvard and was so excited just thinking about his future.
He gets into a taxi and the driver says, “How are you this fine day?”
“I’m the Class of 2012, just graduated from Harvard and I just can’t wait to go out there and see what the world has in store for me.”
“Congratulations,” said the driver reaching back to shake the young man’s hand. “I’m Mitch. Harvard Class of ’79.”
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? Uncle Nutzie: “Now it’s time for one of my favorite cartoons. It’s a sad, depressing story about a pathetic coyote who spends every waking moment in the futile persuit of a sadistic roadrunner, who mocks him and laughs at him as he is repeatedly crushed and maimed. I hope you enjoy it!”
From “UHF” – 1989.
Weird Al Yankovic’s one and only movie.
Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I have come here tonight to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And I’m all out of bubblegum.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
What is this rebus?
ANSWER: It’s out of the question. (The letters I T and S are out of the word “question”.)
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
A cork, say from a wine bottle, is held by a robotic clamp at the bottom of a bucket of water and released the moment the bucket is dropped off the side of a tall building. What will happen to the cork during the fall? Will it float to the top of the bucket normally, slower than normal, faster than normal, or not at all? Assume that there is no air resistance to slow the bucket down.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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