WELCOME to Thursday, November 17, 2016.
Ten Funny Things About Marriage…
The woman always makes the rules
These rules are subject to change without notice
No man can possibly know all the rules
The woman is never wrong
If it appears the woman is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the man did or said
The man must apologies immediately for causing the misunderstanding
The woman can change her mind at any time
The man must never change his mind without the proper consent of the woman
The man must read the mind of the woman at all times
At all times, what is important is what the woman meant, not what she said.
A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants, provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, ‘OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death.’
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
First don’t shoot the messenger, but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“Apple just released a new app that lets you read books with your kids on your TV. Or as dads put it, ‘Yeah, this ‘book’ is about the Patriots-Seahawks game, and it’s a thriller.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“According to scientists, the moon is the closest it’s been to the Earth since 1948. Apparently, the moon is worried and wants to know what the hell is going on down here.” -Conan O’Brien
“Last night, the moon appeared larger than normal because it was closer to the Earth. Astronomers call it a super moon. Famed astronomer Neil deGrasse Tyson mocked the hype and said if you had a 15-inch pizza that became a 16-inch pizza, would you call that a super pizza? And I think I speak for everyone when I say, that depends what’s on it.” -James Corden
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
I volunteered recently to perform a parachute jump for charity. On our first day of training, the instructor made an important point about preparing for landing at 300 feet.
“How do you know when you’re at 300 feet?” asked one woman.
“A good question,” replied the instructor. “At 300 feet you can recognize the faces of people on the ground.”
The woman thought about this for awhile before saying, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
“With powers like these, I could be….A SUPERHERO!
From “The Mask” – 1994.
My favorite line in the movie.
Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? Juliet Forrest: “If you need me, just call. You know how to dial, don’t you? You just put your finger in the hole and make tiny little circles.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Change one letter in each word to form the name of a famous person. (Bet Stifler = Ben Stiller)
1. Delta Geese
2. Halve Ferry
3. Since Girl
4. Mew Roan
5. Tint Burner
6. Row Lose
7. Tone Dale
8. Amp Giant
9. Earth Brooms
10. Bray Pita
ANSWER: 1. Della Reese 2. Halle Berry 3. Vince Gill 4. Meg Ryan 5. Tina Turner 6. Rob Lowe 7. Tyne Daly
8. Amy Grant 9. Garth Brooks 10. Brad Pitt
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS, NICE WORK BANKS!
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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