Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏


WELCOME to Monday, January 2, 2016.   

Grade change form for college students everywhere…
Dear Professor,
My grade in ____ should be raised from _____ to ____ because:
1. There must be a mistake somewhere.
2. I was not well at the time of the examination.
3. My mind always goes blank during an examination.
4. This mark ruined my prospect of getting a scholarship.
5. This is the only course in which I received a poor grade
6. This mark grieved my mother (or Father). whose pride I am.
7. Conditions in the room were not conductive to concentration.
8. The examination was unfair and unfairly distributed over the subject
9. I have to work after school and nights; therefore I should be given a break.
10. I am married; therefore, I should be given a break.
11. I would have done much better if I had taken the examination give to one of the other sections.
12. Several people around me copied from my paper during the examination yet they received higher marks than I did. Surely this is not fair.
13. The reason I did not do better is because I am very honest. I do no wish to say anything against any other members of the class.
14. I know many of the class members who do not work as hard as I do an who got a better grade. I am recognized among my classmates as a good student – you just ask any one of them.
15. The question were ambiguous, and therefore, my answers should be graded according to the reasonable interpretations that I made of your questions.
16. Many of the questions could not be answered with straight facts; they were matters of opinion. I do not believe I should be penalize just because my opinions differ from those of the instructor.
17. I have studied this subject from the broad philosophical viewpoint and therefore, I was unable to answer your technical-based question
18. I am philosophically oriented to the realm of ideas; I respond to the sweep and scope of great intellects. My work is beyond the interest in petty details and parrot-like memorizing of those who are merely students
19. At the time of the exam, I was suffering from a severe case of cognitive dissonance and was incapable of coping with the stress of the hour.
20. It is not a higher mark I seek; I care nothing about marks; I think marks are wicked and I disapprove of them. However, this pernicious system of which I am a victim requires marks for achieving success and therefore, I seek a higher mark.
Thank you,

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great day 
people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!


Since spaghetti is now ‘pasta’ and a TV set is a ‘home entertainment system,’ the manager of my grocery store did his best to jazz up the lowly egg. He still has some work to do. A sign he put up in the dairy section advertised “Boneless Chicken.”
When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the one that says…”If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER.” So, I call them and say, “I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?”
Before I could enroll in my company’s medical insurance plan, I needed to fill out a questionnaire. As expected, the form was very thorough, leaving nothing to chance. One question asked, “Do you think you may need to go to the emergency room within the next three months?”

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

Once upon a time in their marriage, my Dad did something really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized, they made up.
However, from time to time, my mom mentions what he had done. “Honey,” my Dad finally said one day, “why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was ‘forgive and forget.'”
“It is,” she said. “I just don’t want you to forget that I’ve forgiven and forgotten.”

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.’

ANSWER: ‘Star Wars: A New Hope’

Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  ‘In his eagerness to save you, your God has also saved the Roman fleet!’ 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

What’s this rebus?

ANSWER: Pie in the sky! The pi(e) is where the sky should be. The title is a reference to the meaning of the idiom: an empty wish or promise.



Monday’s Quizzler is………. 

What 3 words can the following 3 words start with? Once you work it out, you must find a relation between the 3 ADDED words.
1. _ _ _ scotch
2. _ _ _ _ child
3. _ _ _ _ suit


LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at 





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