Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏


WELCOME to Friday, January 20, 2016.  

Miscellaneous terms….
Arbitrator \ar’-bi-tray-ter\: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s.
Avoidable \uh-voy’-duh-buhl\: What a bullfighter tries to do.
Baloney \buh-lo’-nee\: Where some hemlines fall.
Bernadette \burn’-a-det\: The act of torching a mortgage.
Burglarize \bur’-gler-ize\: What a crook sees with.
Counterfeiters \kown-ter-fit-ers\: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.
Eclipse \e-klips’\: What an English barber does for a living.
Eyedropper \i’-drop-ur\: A clumsy ophthalmologist.
Heroes \hee’-rhos\: What a guy in a boat does.
Left Bank \left’ bangk’\: What the robber did when his bag was full of loot.
Misty \mis’-tee\: How golfers create divots.
Paradox \par’-uh-doks\: Two physicians.
Parasites \par’-uh-sites\: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Pharmacist \farm’-uh-sist\: A helper on the farm.
Polarize \po’-lur-ize\: What penguins see with.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do,

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…  People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. — Joan Rivers

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I’m beginning to believe it. Clarence Darrow
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Dennis Wholey
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too. Rodney Dangerfield
We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. Phyllis Diller

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

Little Johnny once bought his Grandma a very nice, luxurious toilet brush for her birthday. But when he went to visit her a couple of weeks later, it wasn’t in the bathroom. Little Johnny asked his Grandma, “Gran, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?” “Darling, I’m sorry but I just didn’t like it. It was too scratchy. After all those years, I’ve gotten used to the toilet paper.”

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.’

ANSWER: ‘Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory’ Spoken by Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) to Charlie Bucket (Peter Ostrum). 
Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘What is my goal here, to make you a happy, well-adjusted gangster?





Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

What phrase is represented below?
GulpGulp LIONS
GulpGulpGulp NS

ANSWER: Swallow Your Pride. Collective noun for Lions = Pride


Friday’s Quizzler is………. 

What is represented below?
Der Der
Der Der
Der Der
Der Der
Der Der

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at 



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