Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏


WELCOME to Thursday, February 16, 2017.             

Oxymoron Phrases…..
A stripper’s dressing room
Click the start button, and shut down
First strike defence
Former President-for-life (Haiti)
Alone in a crowd
Xenophobic Foreign Secretary (Xenophobic = hates strangers)
Personalized form letter
I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous!
Always remember you’re unique…just like everyone else!
An oral contract isn’t worth the paper its written on
Freezer burn, caused by liquid gas, created an anxious patient
Open secret – clearly confused
Found missing – minor crisis averted
Tight slacks – Pretty ugly
We climbed down into a blocked drain
Soft rock, as shown on educational television
Monopoly (Mono  Poly?) And why is there only one monopolies commission?
Head butt
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday day people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES… “Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day! Which means in 24 hours, guys all across the country will be telling their loved ones, ‘I thought you said we weren’t doing gifts this year.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“The funniest place to be on Valentine’s Day is the drugstore checkout line at around 7 p.m. The only place you’ll see
desperation like that is at a casino in Vegas, standing in line for the ATM.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“Facebook has just added a new tool for finding help during disasters. Unfortunately, then Facebook shows you
photos of your friends having a much better time during their disasters.” -Conan O’Brien

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

Why the Military can’t communicate with each other…
If you tell the Navy to secure a building, they will turn out the lights and lock the door.
If you tell the Army to secure a building, they will occupy it and forbid entry to those without a pass.
If you tell the Marines to secure a building, they assault with heavy fire, capture the building, fortify it and call for an air strike.
If you tell the Air Force to secure a building, they will negotiate a three year lease with an option to buy.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “I look handsome, I look smart! I am a walking work of art!”

ANSWER: Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat! Sung by Joseph (Donny Osmond). A filmed version of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s hit musical based on the Biblical story of a dreamer who overcomes hardship and comes out on top. Starring: Donny Osmond and Maria Friedman. 
Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Fluff and fold, buddy. Soon as I make it really big, I’m going fluff and fold.”



Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

Change the position of just one of the words below so that all the words are in an alphabetical sequence:
llama, phoenix, hyena, alligator, beaver, elephant, tortoise, antelope

ANSWER: Antelope. Move it from the end to the beginning; the initial letters will then spell ALPHABET.




Thursday’s Quizzler is………. 

What word/phrase is described by the following rebus?
Julio Iglesias
Lana Turner
Dinah Shore
John Wayne
Robert Redford
John Ireland
Elizabeth Taylor
John Travolta
Barbara Eden
Jack Nicholson


LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at 



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