Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏


WELCOME to Friday, April 7, 2017.
Weekend Punograpy…..
No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
The person who invented the door knock won the No-bell prize.
STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward.
Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day? Sure, they’re very scent-imental!
Where do you find a birthday present for a cat? In a cat-alogue!
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
In democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your count that votes.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
She said I wanna look bomb in the party. I said don’t worry, we’ll have a blast.
Murdered for immortality. Received life sentence.
Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.
I asked my friend for a sharpened pencil, but he didn’t have one. I always knew he was a little dull…
Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch? A: “Beef Jerky!”
The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
If a short psychic broke out of jail, then you’d have a small medium at large.
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

1. “If you want to achieve greatness stop asking for permission.” –Anonymous

2. “Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out.” –John Wooden

3. “To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.” –Anonymous

4. “If you are not willing to risk the usual you will have to settle for the ordinary.” –Jim Rohn

5. “Trust because you are willing to accept the risk, not because it’s safe or certain.” –Anonymous

6. “Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life–think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves,
every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success.” –Swami Vivekananda

7. “All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” –Walt Disney

8. “Good things come to people who wait, but better things come to those who go out and get them.” –Anonymous

9. “If you do what you always did, you will get what you always got.” –Anonymous

10. “Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” –Winston Churchill

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.

When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. “Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?” she asked.

“No, thanks,” replied the vultures. “They’re carrion.” 😔

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
‘His god…is God.’
ANSWER: Ten Commandments! Spoken by Rameses (Yul Brynner) to Nefertiri (Anne Baxter).

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
‘Put on your Sunday best, kids; we’re going to Sears!’

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
What is represented by the following?

Hit. Der.

ANSWER: One hit wonder. (one “hit”, one “der”)

Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Which is the shortest word in English that contains the letters A, B, C, D, E and F ?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at

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