WELCOME to Tuesday February 20, 2018.
DID YOU KNOW?
Apples are Female – the best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don’t want to reach for them as they’re afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Wine is Male – it begins as a grape, and it’s up to women to stomp the crap out of it until it turns into something acceptable to have dinner with.
Ziploc Bags are Male – they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
Copiers are Female – once turned off it takes a while to warm them up again. It’s an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
A Tire is Male – it goes bald and it is often over-inflated.
A Hot Air Balloon is Male – to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it (of course, there’s the hot air part, too).
Sponges are Female – they’re soft, squeezable and retain water.
A Web Page is Female – it is always getting hit on.
A Subway is Male – it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
An Hourglass is Female – over time the weight shifts to the bottom.
A Hammer is Male – it hasn’t changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it is handy to have around.
A Remote Control is Female – it gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it,and while he doesn’t always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!
A Water Faucet is Female – it can turn hot or cold in just a matter of moments.
A Safety Pin is Male – it is often useful in an emergency.
A Foreign Movie is Female – it is not always completely understood.
A Computer is Female – even your smallest mistakes are stored in memory. (E-V-E-R-Y T-H-I-N-G!)
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Tuesday people,
“Valentine’s Day: the day women all around the world wait eagerly to discover the new and wonderful ways their husbands and boyfriends will disappoint them.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“Two hundred cows recently died in a field in Wisconsin. Nobody knows the cause of death, but they suspect boredom.” -Conan O’Brien
What is it?
ANSWER: A mirror