Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday February 22, 2018.  

Ponderings for Today……

When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
Why doesn’t “onomatopoeia” sound like what it is?
Why do ‘tug’boats push their barges?
Why do we sing ‘Take me out to the ball game’, when we are already there?
Why are they called ‘stands’ when they’re made for sitting?
Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?
Why does one get in trouble for WRECKless driving?
Does a fish get cramps after eating?
Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!  Have a great Thursday people,

and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES...
Anybody who says their wedding or the birth of their child was the best day of their life
has clearly never had 2 candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.

My friend keeps telling me, “Cheer up, man. It could be worse. You could be stuck
underground in a hole full of water.” And I know he means well, but…

I hope when I die it’s early in the morning, so I don’t go to work that day for no reason.

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Some of my friends started a company built around an innovative idea for an
online business. A debate broke out about what to name the venture. “We have
to call it Imagination,” one passionate participant cried out.

Everyone thought the idea over for a minute, and then a voice of reason replied,
“Are you sure you want your business card to read ‘Imagination, Limited’?”😐😁

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
‘I like them French Fried potaters.’
ANSWER:  Sling Blade!
Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
1: “He beat you with nothin’! Just like today when he kept comin back at me, with nothin’.”
2: “Yeah, well sometimes nothin’ can be a real ____
Wednesday’s Quizzler is………. 

Find the two six letter words that are combined in each row of letters. Their letters are in the correct order.

1. JSOYOMFUBELR
2. SCDUARWDRLYE
3. DASNAGEFERTY
4. CLULOOTSCEHN
5. USENEARSEYNE

ANSWER:

1. Joyful & Somber
2. Scurry & Dawdle
3. Danger & Safety
4. Clutch & Loosen
5. Uneasy & Serene
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
These are quotes from George Carlin, one of America’s most popular wise guys. Can you decode them?

Both puzzles use the same code.

Q=M

“DPKLSUQ SU D ORO-TYRTKLP RYMDOSEDPSRO.”

“‘S DQ’ SU YLTRYPLJWB PKL UKRYPLUP ULOPLOHL SO PKL LOMWSUK WDOMADML. HRAWJ SP FL PKDP ‘S JR’ SU PKL WROMLUP ULOPLOHL?”

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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