Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

Lost and Profound.

WELCOME to Thursday March 1, 2018.  

Confucius Says….

He who eats crackers in bed get crummy sleep.

Eunuch not strange creature, just man cut out to be bachelor.

Man who dream of eating giant mushroom—wake up with no pillow.

Man who eats photo of father, soon spitting-image of father.

He who put face in fruit drink get punch in the nose.

Butcher who backs into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders.

Chemist who fall in acid, absorbed in work.

Man become old when he watch food instead of waitress.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!  Have a great Thursday people,

and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
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DAILY QUOTES...
“Department store Neiman Marcus is selling a Dolce & Gabbana toaster for $600. Or, for the same results, just buy a regular toaster and put $600 in it.” -Seth Meyers

“Starbucks has unveiled a new rewards system. Previously, you needed only 12 rewards ‘Stars’ to get a free drink; you now need 125. This has made Starbucks customers very angry. I mean, this is all so frustrating. If only there was some way for people to make their own coffee, at home.” -James Corden

“Hasbro announced they are making a new version of Monopoly to appeal to a younger generation. That means it won’t come with any cash, so you’ll have to borrow some from your parents’ Monopoly set.” -Jimmy Fallon

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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A man goes to the doctor with a swollen foot. After a careful examination, the doctor gives the man a pill big enough to choke a horse.

“I’ll be right back with some water,” the doctor tells him.

The doctor has been gone a while and the man loses patience. He hobbles out to the drinking fountain, forces the pill down his throat and gobbles down water until the pill clears his throat. He hobbles back into the examining room.

Just then the doctor comes back with a bucket of warm water. “Ok, after the tablet dissolves, soak that foot for about 20 minutes.” 😐
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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
1: “I’m not going to kill you. I want you to do me a favor. I want you to tell all your friends about me.”
2: “What are you?”
1: “I’m __________.”

ANSWER:

Batman (1989)
“Batman” starred Michael Keaton as Batman/Bruce Wayne. He played the role again in “Batman Returns” before Val Kilmer replaced him in “Batman Forever”, followed by George Clooney in “Batman and Robin”.
Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day!What movie is this quote from??
“We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today, we celebrate our ____________________!” [crowd cheers]
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Wednesday’s Quizzler is………. 

Fill in the words that are empty by using words that will connect with the previous one.

EXAMPLE: Towel, Rack. (You have the words Towel and Rack, but when put together it becomes “Towel rack”.)

Try to connect candy to washer.

Candy
B_ _
S _ _ _
D_ _ _
Washer

ANSWER:  Candy, Bar, Soap, Dish, Washer.

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
A group of four brothers did travel the land,
with only one steed shared among the whole band.
Though always surefooted, no matter the weather,
their mount would go lame if they didn’t ride together.
When one of the brothers was thrown and misplaced,
he was left where he lay and was quickly replaced.
When the ride became old and the brothers not needed,
to a game for all ages they simply retreated.
When many a player would fling them about,
and ringing a post was the victory shout.

Name us.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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