In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don’t get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the points system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
* You make the bed ………………..+1
* You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows…. 0
* You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets……………….-1
* You leave the toilet seat up………….-5
* You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty………… 0
* When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex…-1
* When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom………..-2
* You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings…..+5
* in the snow……………+8
* but return with beer……….-5
* and no liners………………..-25
* You check out a suspicious noise at night……. 0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing………… 0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is something……….+5
* You pummel it with a six iron………..+10
* It’s her cat…………………….-40
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people,
retirement package – if he can jump up and catch it with his mouth.” -Conan O’Brien
“The University of Texas has decided to allow students to carry guns in the classroom.
The school says it’s a guaranteed way to prevent the possibility of a pop quiz.” -Seth Meyers
“Whole Foods is looking into the idea of putting tattoo parlors in their grocery stores. Even so, the people walking out of Whole Foods with the biggest sense of regret will still be whoever just paid $8 for an apple.” -Jimmy Fallon
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only a few weeks the leaves shriveled. It appeared to be on its last legs.
My wife took some leaf samples and marched into the nursery to demand an explanation.
“I know exactly what’s wrong with your magnolia,” said the manager.
“Good,” said my wife. “What’s it suffering from?”
“Autumn,” he replied.
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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
2: “You remember that day. Was I there? Where was I?”
1: “You were in the window. You waved to me, ‘Bye-bye ___________, bye-bye.”
ANSWER: Rain Man!
them ol’ redneck boys. Can you believe that?”
2: “My name’s ___________, people call me ___________.”
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Friday’s Quizzler is……….
each new word must be a real word.
ANSWER:
THICK
TRICK
TRACK
TRACT
TRAIT
TRAIN
BRAIN
I suppose that may be true.
But the type I am was mostly played
In a place where grass is blue.
Of wood and pearl, skin and steel,
You could say I am high strung.
My neck looks like a ladder,
With brass on every rung.
What am I?
The World According to the Eucman! 