Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday March 13, 2018.   

Requirements for 11th Degree Black Belt! 

Master of Judo: Well before testing for this rank any experienced Judo
teacher should have already learned these basic techniques:

Escape from Dojo: The quick exit to avoid clean up and helping with the mats.

Sleeper Stance: Standing at the corner of the dojo pretending to be observing
the students as they sweat with exhaustion.

Sigh of Wisdom: Sudden, forceful exhalation when a beginning student unexpectedly
survives a dangerous body slam without injury.

Crossing Fingers: A hopeful posture used when uke has been choked unconscious.

Gift of Instruction: The act of taking credit whenever a student wins a tournament
or performs a technique correctly.

Seeing Without Seeing: The dazed look of amazement given to the student who
asks a stupid question.

Kuchi Waza (mouth technique): Using an hour of class time to answer the  stupid
question while students sit on their knees in seiza.

Mugger’s Defense: Offering to lighten the student’s wallet to reduce the risk of confrontation.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!  Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

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DAILY QUOTES...

“Climate change could eventually wipe out crops like strawberries and grapes. Even worse, that means edible arrangements will soon be 100 percent cantaloupe.” -Jimmy Fallon

“In honor of International Women’s Day, McDonald’s is flipping its golden arches to resemble a W instead of an M. And we can’t even show you what they did over at Hooters.” -Seth Meyers

“Apple’s new futuristic headquarters, Apple Park in Cupertino, California, is having some problems. The building is filled with so much clear glass that employees have reportedly been walking into glass walls. I guess Apple shouldn’t have installed windows.” -James Corden 😁😎

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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Heavy snow had buried my van in our driveway. My husband, Scott, dug around the wheels, rocked the van back and forth and finally pushed me free. I was on the road when I heard an odd noise. I got on my cell and called home. “Thank God you answered,” I said when Scott picked up. “There’s this alarming sound coming under the van. For a minute I thought I was dragging you down the highway.” “And you didn’t stop?”😐
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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

“You think I want money? What I want is my morning back. I need my time back. Can you give me my time back? Huh? Can you?”

ANSWER: Changing Lanes!

Samuel L. Jackson says this as Doyle Gipson. He is talking to Ben Affleck’s character, Gavin Banek. Doyle and Gavin get into a car accident. The accident causes problems for both characters. Doyle is angry because he misses a court appointment he was supposed to attend. The appointment was regarding the custody of his kids. Gavin offers Doyle money, but money is not what he wants. He wants to go back in time and attend his court hearing.

Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day!

“Now, you understand I can’t just give you new irises. Because if I do, the retinal scans will read the scar tissue,
alarms will go off, and large men with guns will appear.”
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Monday’s Quizzler is………. 

Throw some anagrams around!In the sentences below, there are 10 jumbled phrases. Each is an anagram of a word or phrase that helps complete the story. Can you decipher all 10?

The kids were playing on the WET SIGNS, Uncle Frank and Jack from next door were playing a game of HOSS HEROES, and it was time for the grill. The THICK TRIO was lighted, and the TOAST PIE had been dusted off. Kristen, their teenager, was stretched out on the EAGLE CUSHION and talking on her CLONE HELP as usual. The RUM LABEL offered some shade, and it was time for the announcement: “NO HBO CONCERT!” This followed by PRESCRIBE MAD HUB and a genial reminder: SHOCK TOE SKI!

ANSWER:  The kids were playing on the SWING SET, Uncle Frank and Jack from next door were playing a game of HORSE SHOES, and it was time for the grill. The TIKI TORCH was lighted, and the PATIO SET had been dusted off. Kristen, their teenager, was stretched out on the CHAISE LONGUE and talking on her CELL PHONE as usual. The UMBRELLA offered some shade, and it was time for the announcement: “CORN ON THE COB!” This was followed by BARBECUED SHRIMP and a genial reminder: KISS THE COOK!

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you discover the missing number in this series?

37, 10, 82
29, 11, 47
96, 15, 87
42, ?, 15

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

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