WELCOME to Monday March 19, 2018.
SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE:
“We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you.”
Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:
“Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”
In a Podiatrist’s office:
“Time wounds all heels.”
On a Septic Tank Truck:
“Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels”
At an Optometrist’s Office:
“If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”
On a Plumber’s truck:
“We repair what your husband fixed.”
On another Plumber’s truck:
“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
“Invite us to your next blowout.”
On an Electrician’s truck:
“Let us remove your shorts.”
On a Maternity Room door:
“Push. Push. Push.”
In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
In a Restaurant window:
“Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
“Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”
In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
“Best place in town to take a leak.”
“Every appliance with a clock should have a Daylight Savings button to push. You’d only use it twice a year, but that’s more than I use the ‘Potato’ button on my microwave.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“It’s Daylight Savings Time. Why does it have to happen on the weekend? Why can’t they do it on a Wednesday at 4:00? ‘Hey look, now it’s 5:00. Time to go home!'”-Stephen Colbert
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Looking into the shadows the guy sees his neighbor holding onto a restless and agitated pig. “What are you planning to do with that?” he asks.
“I’m carrying it indoors and putting in the bath tub.”
“Why do you wanna’ do a thing like that?”
“Well, you see, it’s my wife. She is one of those women who knows EVERYTHING! I tell her that the price of petrol has shot up again…she says I know! I tell her there is more trouble in the East again … she says I know! I tell her Francis down the street is getting a divorce and she knows that, too. Well, tomorrow morning, since she always gets up before me, I’ll wait for her to come running to me screaming ‘THERE’S A PIG IN THE BATH! THERE’S A PIG IN BATH!'”
And I’ll just turn to her and say, “Yeah, I know!” 😐😱😎
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ANSWER: The Ring!
Mondays Movie Trivia of the day!
“That’s why he had asthma. It can’t be luck. His lungs were closed. His lungs were closed. No poison got in. No poison got in. His lungs were closed. His lungs were closed.”
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
___less
___ure
___orse
___ing
ANSWER: End
Endure
Endorse
Ending
You need to continue this process until you reach the word ‘PRODUCE’.
Not including ‘U’, you must do this in six (6) turns.
Good luck.
U
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P R O D U C E
The World According to the Eucman! 