Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏


WELCOME to Thursday March 22, 2018. 

“Why aren’t you married yet?” Comebacks😎   
You haven’t asked yet.
I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.
What? And spoil my great life?
Because I just love hearing this question.
It gives my mother something to live for.
My fiance is awaiting parole.
I’m still hoping for a shot at Miss America.
I’m waiting until I get to be your age.
It didn’t seem worth a blood test.
I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
I’d have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.
What? And lose all the money I’ve invested in running personal ads?
I don’t want to have to support another person on my paycheck.
Why aren’t you thin?
I’m married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Thursday people, and whatever you do,don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!


“Golfer Rory McIlroy said there should be a limit to how much alcohol fans can buy at events because they’re getting too rowdy. And also, he’s tired of hearing drunk people
try to say ‘Rory McIlroy.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“Actress Cynthia Nixon today announced her bid to run for New York governor, and she debuted her campaign slogan, ‘Nixon 2018: No Relation.'” -Seth Meyers

“In financial news, billionaire investor Warren Buffett is facing some criticism after saying in a recent interview, ‘You will not be way happier if you double your net worth.’ Spoken like someone who has $90 billion. But he is partially right. Happiness does not come from net worth. It comes from the things you can BUY because of your net worth.” -James Corden


G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A woman said to her friend, “I don’t know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can’t imagine. He doesn’t put anything in its place, I am always going around the house organizing things.”

The friend says, “Take a tip from me. The first week after we were married I laid the law down firmly with my husband. I told him, ‘Every glass and plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in its place.'”

The first woman asked, “Did it help?”

Her friend said, “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since.”


Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
“I’m gonna be 17 until the end of the world!”

ANSWER: Tuck Everlasting!

Jesse, played by Jonathan Jackson, says this quote. His family, the Tucks, all drank water from a fountain that made them immortal. None of them will ever grow older or die. Jesse meets a girl named Winnie, played by Alexis Bledel. Jesse tries to get her to drink the water, so they can live forever together. Winnie has a big decision to make; she is given the option of immortality. This quote is said when Jesse is explaining to Winnie what happened to his family.

Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day!
“Maybe God has a bigger plan for me than I had for myself. Like this journey never ends. Like you were sent to me because I’m sick. To help me through all this. You’re my angel.”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is………. 

Here are more movie alternates, but this time they are a bit more challenging.

Use synonyms of the following phrases to decode popular movie titles.

1.) Razors of Honor
2.) Wonder-male Comes Back
3.) Ruler of the Bands
4.) Endless Light of the Unstained Head
5.) Super Quartet
6.) Mandibles


1.) Blades of Glory
2.) Superman Returns
3.) Lord of the Rings
4.) Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
5.) Fantastic Four
6.) Jaws
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
In the four sentences below, are two blanks. You must fill them in with words that are either anagrams, synonyms, antonyms, or homonyms. You can only use each of these one time each sentence. Can you figure out each word?

1. The golfer has yelled out “____,” ____ times today.

2. They began to ____ scones, and drink ____.

3. She used one ____ to look down at her wrist and see her ____.

4. He ran ____ the dog in order ____ not get bitten by it.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at

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