Welcome, to Friday, January 8th! You Know you Might Be a Farmer If… 1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife. 2. You convince your wife that an overnight, out-of-state trip for equipment parts is a vacation. 3. You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house. 4. You’ve never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket. 5. You have used baling wire to attach a license plate. 6. You have used a chain saw to remodel your house. 7. You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population,
herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife’s birthday.
8. You have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a piece of equipment. 9. You have used a velvetleaf plant as toilet paper. And in the grand tradition of saving the best for last…10. You have driven off the road while examining your neighbor’s crops. Thank yuh, thank yuh veruh much‏! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have great weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am history, Eucman!

Quotes of the Day

“According to the Chinese calendar, 2010 is the year of the Tiger. Because it definitely wasn’t 2009 for him.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“In Taiwan, marine biologists have discovered a crab they say looks just like a strawberry. And by marine biologists, I mean two guys on mushrooms.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Joan Rivers is reportedly very angry because on Sunday she was prevented from entering the country by airline security. Man, you should have seen the face she wanted to make.”
– Conan O’Brien

Joke of the Day*
A couple moved to the country when they retired. One mild winter, they had a bit of a problem with rodents in the garage. So they bought one of those little sub-sonic mouse repellants, the kind you plug in and they emit some kind of sound that drives off mice. The husband was showing it to their neighbor and explaining that it was an animal repellant. He told her that it worked on every thing from mice to elephants. “Really!?” she said, “Mice to elephants, eh.” sounding a bit skeptical. “Yes,” he replied, seriously. “We’ve had it here for a couple of weeks now and we haven’t had a single elephant in the garage the whole time!”

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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘Never let it be said that your anal-retentive attention to detail never yielded positive results!’ Answer:Dogma. Loki (Matt Damon) to Bartleby (Ben Affleck) after Bartleby convinces Loki that the loophole is foolproof.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???? ‘You moved the headstones, but you left the bodies, didn’t you?!’
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Thursday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features the names of various song titles that share a word in common and are written back-to-back. Combine a fun, funk anthem by The Commodores from 1977 with a song by The Animals from 1964, and what do you get? Answer: Brick House of the Rising Sun. Commodores’ bassist Ron LaPread produces an amazing bass line in “Brick House” that remains a very well-known lick even today, over twenty years after its release. Here’s a little-known fact about The Animals’ song “House of the Rising Sun”. You can interchange the lyrics and tune to “Rising Sun”, “Amazing Grace” and the theme song to Gilligan’s Island…kind of funny, really!

Friday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 1979. In 1979, the vocal group Sister Sledge hit the U.S. singles charts with “We Are Family.” Which 1979 championship Major League baseball team used this tune as its theme song?
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Thursday’s Quizzler is..
Shipwrecked we are, once a proud crew,
Evening finds us, stranded and few;
Victory was ours, but now has its cost,
Even so, we must count the lost.
Now we see, only several have survived,
To think our crew, at thirty arrived,
Everyone at rest, we must ask you,
Engage in the counting, how many are the few?
Now I have given the clue, it’s all up to you.

ANSWER: If you did not click, The head’s off at a flick, Of my cutlass so sharp and keen,
If you did not see seventeen; My words merely distracted you, The answer lay in plain view,
In the form of the first letter of each line. And to the ones with observant eyes,
I hope we will meet on the sea, beyond the skies.

Friday’s Quizzler is…
As you may know, a group of fish is called a “school”, a group of lions is called a “pride”, and a group of seagulls is called a “flock”. Some are a little more unusual. See if you can guess what animals belong to the following groups:

Crash
Exaltation
Mob
Murder
Parliament
Pod
Sounder

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Answers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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