Welcome, to Monday, January 11th! Well it’s a new year and how about some advice from the Eucman on the top ten things to avoid saying on your anniversary?

Today is our what?
I thought we only celebrated important events?
I stopped caring about anniversaries when you stopped caring about cooking.
Okay, let’s celebrate, but do we have to celebrate together?
You can celebrate anniversaries with your next husband.
You don’t like what I pick out, so I thought why bother.
I got you a present worth a dollar for every time you were nice to me this year. Here’s a $5 gift certificate for McDonald’s.
If you want me to pretend like I care about our anniversary, I will.
You want to go out to dinner? Okay, okay, I’ll take you to Pizza Hut if it’ll shut ya up.
I thought you only had to celebrate anniversaries while you were still in love.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am history, Eucman!

Quotes of the Day

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. A. Whitney Brown

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Lily Tomlin

“Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.” – Joey Adams

I have opinions of my own — strong opinions — but I don’t always agree with them. – George Bush

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity. – Albert Einstein

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, “No hablo ingles.”

“One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.” -George W. Bush

Joke of the Day*

A man walks into a friend and sees that his friend’s car is total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches,
dirt and blood. He asks his friend, “What’s happened to your car?” “Well,” the friend responses, “I ran into a lawyer”.
“OK,” says the man, “that explains the blood… But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?”
“Well, I had to chase him all through the park.”

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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????’You moved the headstones, but you left the bodies, didn’t you?!’ Answer: Poltergeist. Craig T. Nelson to his boss when he figures out the property was built on an old cemetary.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???? ‘This could quite possibly be the stupidest person on the planet!’

TODAY’S MOVIE TRIVIA DIVIA OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD! GREAT JOB KIM!
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Friday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 1979. In 1979, the vocal group Sister Sledge hit the U.S. singles charts with “We Are Family.” Which 1979 championship Major League baseball team used this tune as its theme song?

Monday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 and these were the most memorable lyrics heard on pop radio all across America.” Song Number Ten: “The whole top’s diamond and the bottom row’s gold”. Going straight to number one in January, Nelly flashed his bling and told us to call him “George Foreman cause he’s selling everybody” what title object?
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Friday’s Quizzler is..
As you may know, a group of fish is called a “school”, a group of lions is called a “pride”, and a group of seagulls is called a “flock”. Some are a little more unusual. See if you can guess what animals belong to the following groups:
Crash
Exaltation
Mob
Murder
Parliament
Pod
Sounder
ANSWER: Crash – Rhinoceros, Exaltation – Lark, Mob – Kangaroo, Murder – Crow
Parliament – Owl, Pod – Whale, Sounder – Pig/Hog

Monday’s Quizzler is…
The letter “o” has been removed from the following words. Can you guess them all?

1) utdr
2) bnxius
3) drus
4) nlker
5) nmatpeia
6) ppsitin
7) rthdx
8) cckat
9) prtbell
10) vd

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Answers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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