Welcome, to Thursday, January 21th! Hey, since we’re now living in the time of e-mail (and blogs and texts and Tweets) and the more common use of the written language, it is time for an English lesson. So, with tongue firmly in cheek, here are MORE some rules to keep in mind when using the Queen’s Engerlish:
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don’t use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23. Kill all exclamation points!!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is probably not the best way to propose earth shattering ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
28. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a million times worse than understatement.
34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have wonderful day people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!   
  
Quotes of the Day  

“Just the other day I sent the girlfriend a huge pile of snow…I rang her up and said, ‘Did you get my drift?'” –Peter Kay 
 
“Always and never are two words you should always remember
never to use.” –Wendell Johnson
 
“There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.” –Ogden Nash 

Joke of the Day*

A number of years ago, we had a rather pompous pastor. One Sunday morning when he called for the offertory, he folded his hands across his chest and intoned, “Ask and ye shall receive; seek and ye shall find; knock and it will be opened unto you.” Then he spread his arms wide and called, “Therefore…come unto the Lord all ye askers, seekers and knockers.”      

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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “But we eat the same things. Like, if I have a pork-chop, she has a pork-chop, if I have a veal, she has a veal.”

 
Answer: Talk Radio. After learning his Dallas-area talk show is going to be broadcast nationally, controversial radio host Barry Champlain (Eric Bogosian) goes against the advice of those around him to soften his approach, which only further fuels the hatred for him by his bizarre litany of callers. Based on the novel, “Talked to Death: The Life and Murder of Alan Berg”, by Stephen Singular, the screenplay was co-written by Bogosian and director Oliver Stone. “But we eat the same things…” one of the callers to Night Talk tells controversial radio host Barry Champlain about his cat’s eating habits. “Is there a place called Fiji…” This is the question put to Champlain by Kent, a teenaged caller who tries to convince the skeptical radio host that while his parents vacation in Fiji, he has been partying with his girlfriend, who now won’t wake up.  Champlain mumbles to “Get back in your cage” after signing an autograph for an overzealous fan. 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “Kid, you look a thousand miles in every direction from Tennessee to Toronto, I go back roads just about every place, never touch any of the state, never see one darn cop. Besides, this ain’t fast.”

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Wednesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs fromfrom 2006 and these were the most memorable lyrics heard on pop radio all across America.”  Song Number Four: “Gettin’ born in the state of Mississippi, papa was a copper, and mama was a hippy”.  This popular tune about a woman who was “a lover, baby and a fighter” was number one on the Modern Rock chart for ten weeks. Do you recognize this worldwide smash by the Red Hot Chili Peppers?

ANSWER: Dani California. “Dani California” bowed on the Billboard Hot 100 in April of 2006. On its way to peaking at number six on the pop chart, it remained in the top 40 for 24 weeks and the Hot 100 for 26 weeks, landing it at number 23 of the most popular songs of the year. The song was nominated for three Grammy Awards including two wins for Best Rock Song and Best Rock Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal. Its success worldwide included reaching number one in Denmark and Italy and the top ten in a dozen other countries including the U.K., New Zealand and Australia. “Snow ((Hey On))” hit number 22 in 2007 for the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Pearl Jam had a number 41 song in 2006 with “World Wide Suicide”. “Sweet Home Alabama” by Lynyrd Skynyrd reached number eight in 1974.

Thursday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 and these were the most memorable lyrics heard on pop radio all across America.” Song Number Three: “To the left, to the left, everything you own in the box to the left”. Beyonce sends her boyfriend packing in this hit record which topped the R&B/Hip-Hop and Dance Club charts not to mention the Billboard Hot 100 where it spent ten weeks at number one. Do you know the name of this multi-platinum single?

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Wednesday’s Quizzler is..

Can you decipher this common phrase:

PICT RES

ANSWER: You ought to be in pictures. 

 
Thursday’s Quizzler is… 

Fill in the sentence below so that the first two words combine to make the third word. For example, given “The _____ of the group was extremely _____, not just physically, for he was also particularly _____”, you would fill in HEAD, STRONG, and HEADSTRONG.

The guilty _____ fitted the classic _____ for such a character, highlighted by the fact that he looked to constantly _____ his next move.

 
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5! WAY2GOJAZZZZ!

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Answers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

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