Welcome, to Thursday, March 25th! Today and Friday we take a look at Men’s Age, as determined by a Trip to Home Depot .  You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dust, lawn clippings, dirt or paint.  You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit shorts with the hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who-knows-what and an old pair of tennis shoes.  Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job.  Depending on your age you might do the following: 

In your 20’s:
Stop what you are doing.  Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes.  Check yourself in the mirror and flex.  Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane.  And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register..
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In your 30’s:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt.  Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else.  Wash your hands and comb your hair.  Check yourself in the mirror.  Still got it.  Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell.  The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.
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In your 40’s:
Stop what you are doing.  Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts.  Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands.  Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don’t want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing.  The hot young thing running the register is your daughter’s age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.  Hey I’m just saying. Have a wonderful Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    
   
Quotes of the Day 

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,” – Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest. 

“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff,” – Mariah Carey 

“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life,”  – Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign. 

“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,” – Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward. 

“We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees,” – Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks. 

“I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.” – Dan Quayle
      
Joke of the Day*  
Disorder In The Court

Things people actually said in court, word for word:
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year. 

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. 

Q: This myasthenia gravis-does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten? 

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral. 

Q: How old is your son-the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years. 

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, “where am I Cathy?”
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan. 

Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500. 

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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  “When an individual acquires great power, the use or misuse of that power is everything. Will it be used for the greater good or will it be used for personal or destructive ends? Now this is a question we must all ask ourselves.” 

Answer: X-Men: The Last Stand This quote is said by Professor Xavier (Patrick Stewart) as he addresses students at his school for mutants. He is attempting to keep them from abusing the gifts they have received. He wants them to use their powers for the well-being of others instead of for self-gain. The movie costars Hugh Jackman, Sir Ian McKellan, and Halle Berry. It is the third installment of the “X-Men” movies. In this one, the X-Men must fight one of their former teammates, Jean Grey (Famke Janssen), who has trasferred to Magneto’s (Sir Ian McKellan) side. Magneto attempts to defy the company who has invented what they call a cure for the mutant gene. Wolverine (Jackman), Storm (Berry), Rogue (Anna Paquin) and Iceman (Shawn Ashmore) must fight Magneto before he ends the human race.    

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from????  “I could more easily forgive his vanity had he not wounded mine.”
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Wednesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “…let it rain, I clear it out..”
ANSWER: “Chicken Noodle Soup” Webstar Webstar sings this with Young B.      

Thursday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “…always knows exactly what I’m thinking, and she’s always on my mind…”

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Wednesday’s Quizzler is..  
I am a chemical symbol for an element.
This element was discovered in 1824.
I am a Spanish word without the accent.
Reverse me so I become a form of a common verb.
What symbol am I?  

ANSWER: Si. (silicon), Silicon was discovered in 1824. “Si” with an accent means “yes” in Spanish. Reverse it to become “is”, which is a form of the verb “be”.   

Thursday’s Quizzler is…
Unscramble the words below and follow the directions in parentheses. Unscramble the new letters to get the name of a U.S. state, capital, or major city.

IHKNETC (Take the 2nd and 7th letters)
MANSBETE (Take the 3rd and 7th letters)
OVLGOINRIM (Take the 1st and 3rd letters) (2 words)
YMOFRIMOAL (Take the 2nd and 6th letters) (2 words)
NRAYPT (Take the 1st and 2nd letters)
NDE (Take the 2nd and 3rd letters)

Unscramble the letters you collected… what do you get?      

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Answers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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