Welcome, to Monday, March 29th! Top Ten Signs You’re Not Mensa Material. 10. You couldn’t figure out how to break the seal on your standardized intelligence test, so you had to give up.  9. You wonder how the deer know to cross at the deer crossing signs.  8. You are confused by the plot twists of a Bugs Bunny cartoon.  7. You once tried to solve a Rubik’s cube and had to be institutionalized for over a year.  6. You had trouble getting in even before they saw the decimal point in your IQ.  5. You are still struggling to finish “Shoe Laces For Dummies.”  4. Your family had a celebration when you scored a “perfect 10” points on your SAT.  3. You don’t watch PBS because there are no Budweiser or Taco Bell commercials.  2. Homer Simpson is your idol.  1. That “which comes first” thing about chicken and eggs just makes you hungry. Hey I’m just saying. Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    
   
Quotes of the Day  

“According to researchers in London, babies are born to dance, and they greatly prefer music to speech. The music they like best is Lady Gaga.” -Jay Leno
 
“There’s a new technique that lets doctors perform kidney transplants in 45 minutes. Because when you’re getting a kidney transplant, your main concern is always, ‘How long is this gonna take? Can you do it in less than an hour?'” -Jimmy Fallon
 
“Republicans are not happy about the healthcare bill passing. Sen. John McCain called the process the ‘most unsavory Chicago sausage-making’ that he has seen in all his years. First of all, there is nothing unsavory about Chicago sausage.” -Jimmy Kimmel     
Joke of the day 
The young man ahead of my father at the flower shop was taking an unusually long time to place his order.  When the clerk asked how she could help, he explained that his girlfriend was turning 19 and he couldn’t decide whether to give her a dozen roses or 19 roses — one for each year of her life.  The woman put aside her business judgment and advised,
“She may be your 19-year-old girlfriend now, but someday she could be your 50-year-old wife.” The young man bought a dozen roses. 

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Frday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “You cannot let him near the chest, man, trust me on this. You can mistrust me less than you can mistrust him. Trust me.”  

Answer: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest This comedic line is said by Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) to Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) when Jack, Elizabeth and Will are trying to find Davy Jones’ heart which is locked in a chest. Jack is trying to convince Will of giving the chest to him rather than to Norrington, a man who wants the chest to get a pardon and reclaim his life. The heart is Jack’s key to defeating Davy Jones. Will needs the heart to free his father, who has been committed to serving Davy Jones for life. Elizabeth is engaged to Will. This is the second movie in an extremely entertaining trilogy which also stars Keira Knightly, and Geoffrey Rush. The third movie in the series is called “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”.   

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “I arrived in America’s airport with clothings, U.S dollars and a jar of gypsy tears to protect me from AIDS.”   

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Friday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006, try and identify which song or which artist.” “Standing in the front yard, tellin’ me how I’m such a fool.” 

ANSWER: “Irreplaceable” – Beyonce. That line is from “Irreplaceable” by Beyonce. Beyonce was in the movie “Dream Girls” which had about 5 Golden Globe nominations.       

Monday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “I can see us on the countryside, sittin’ in the grass layin’ side by side”

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Friday’s Quizzler is..  
Each clue below is for two words that differ by only one letter: The letter has been either added to the beginning or the end of the word – all the rest are in the same order. In the “hint” you will see the lengths of the words, in the proper order. For example “Writing on the wall of Noah’s boat (3,4)” would result in “Ark Mark”. Can you get the rest?
1. Complaint about a golf club part.
2. Insect being angry and vocal.
3. Angry buccaneer.
4. The second of the two dishes you mentioned.
5. Scrawny unidentified object.   

ANSWER: 1. Grip Gripe, 2. Ant Rant, 3. Irate Pirate, 4. Latter Platter, 5. Thin Thing    

Monday’s Quizzler is…

Your task is to find the word that after taking its first letter away, means the same thing.

Example: Behead an animal and leave an animal (FOX, OX).

1. Behead a musical instrument and leave a musical instrument.

2. Behead a margin and leave a margin.

3. Behead to liquify and leave to liquify.

4. Behead to ascend and leave to ascend.

5. Behead a proper name and leave a proper name.  

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Answers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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