Welcome, to Monday, April 5th! Let take a look at some new defintions for today!
Arbitrator ar’-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s.

Avoidable uh-voy’-duh-buhl: What a bullfighter tries to do.

Baloney buh-lo’-nee: Where some hemlines fall.

Bernadette burn’-a-det: The act of torching a mortgage.

Burglarize bur’-gler-ize: What a crook sees with.

Control kon-trol’: A short, ugly inmate.

Counterfeiters kown-ter-fit-ers: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

Eclipse i-klips’: what an English barber does for a living.

Eyedropper i’-drop-ur: a clumsy ophthalmologist.

Heroes hee’-rhos: what a guy in a boat does.

Left Bank left’ bangk’: what the robber did when his bag was full of loot.

Misty mis’-tee: How golfers create divots.

Paradox par’-u-doks: two physicians.

Parasites par’-uh-sites: what you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Hey I’m just saying. Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    
   
Quotes of the Day 

Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution yet. 

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.  

I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.  

My husband said it was him or the cat… I miss him sometimes.  

“I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence?  

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. 

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too.  

I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up.  

Don’t marry for money. You can borrow it cheaper.  

Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything in the house.  

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.  

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. 

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.    
  

Joke of the day 

My friend’s husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away. When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, he crowed, “I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath.”  I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added  sheepishly, “When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest.” 

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “Would you care to see my mother?” “Your mother? Yes please.” “Oh, but she’s… Mr. Merrick, she’s beautiful!” “Oh, she had the face of an angel. I must have been a great disappointment to her.””No, Mr. Merrick, no. No son as loving as you could ever be a disappointment.” 

Answer:  The Elephant Man. In this scene Victorian-era surgeon Dr. Frederick Treves (Anthony Hopkins) has just shown a photograph of his family to Joseph Merrick (a.k.a., The Elephant Man, played by John Hurt), and Merrick has responded with line one. (Note: Merrick is sometimes erroneously referred to by the name John Merrick.) Dr. Treves is at first surprised because of Joseph’s deformities, but responds with line two. After seeing the picture, Mrs. Treves (Hannah Gordon) has the reaction in line three. Joseph confirms her assessment with the first part of line four, and then sadly adds the second part. Mrs. Treves contradicts Joseph with line five. “The Elephant Man” tells the true story of hideously deformed Joseph Merrick, who is taken in and cared for by a compassionate English doctor in Victorian times. Under Dr. Treves’ care, Merrick blossoms to show a talented and sensitive side. The movie has this great quote (and is also its tag line): “I am not an animal! I am a human being!” 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “If I’m wrong, nothing happens. We go to jail – peacefully, quietly. We’ll enjoy it. But if I’m right, and we CAN stop this thing… Lenny… you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters!” 

TODAY’S MOVIE TRIVIA MASTER AWARD GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5 AND MS. MARY SCHICK! GREAT JOB LADIES!

__________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Friday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive, carved my name into the leather seat”

ANSWER: Before He Cheats – Carrie Underwood. That line is from “Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood. This song is from Carrie’s first album, “Some Hearts.”       

Monday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face.” 

TODAY’S CRAZY DEFINTIONS DIVIA AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD! WAY 2GO KIM!

__________________________________________________________________________________________________ 
 
Friday’s Quizzler is..  
The following four (4) clues are the definitions of words that have been jumbled below and turned into anagrams. Your job is to correctly unravel the anagrams and then place them next to their proper definition. Good luck!
1. The formal activities conducted on some important public or state occasion.
2. Extremely funny.
3. Exhilarated or stupefied by, or as if by alcohol.
4. Causing serious thoughts, or a grave mood.
Jumbled Anagrams: Hi! Our sail, One mercy, Melons, Bare in diet. 

ANSWER: Anagrams: Hi! Our sail – Hilarious, One mercy – Ceremony, Melons – Solemn, Bare in diet – Inebriated

Rearranged anagrams now placed next to their correct definition:
1. The formal activities conducted on some important public or state occasion – Ceremony
2. Extremely funny – Hilarious
3. Exhilarated or stupefied by, or as if by alcohol – Inebriated
4. Causing serious thoughts, or a grave mood – Solemn      

Monday’s Quizzler is…

Make GAR (fish) evolve into DOG (mammal) by changing one letter at a time. Each change must produce a valid word in the English language. But there is a catch. The evolution must go through BOA (reptile) and OWL (bird). No word can be used more than once.

GAR —-> BOA —-> OWL —-> DOG 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER AWARD GOES TO MS MARY SCHICK! INCREDIBLE JOB MARY! 

================================================================================================
Answers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.org.  ww.hopeBUILD.org. www.Eucmaninc.com. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.BTWASHZPROD.com.   www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net.  www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com.