Welcome, to Tuesday April 6th, today we take a look some new definitions for parents!

FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when a baby doesn’t appreciate the mashed carrots.

HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

PRENATAL: When your life was still somewhat your own.

PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes.

STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.

TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

WHOOPS: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a washrag.”

Hey I’m just saying. Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    
   
Quotes of the Day 

“A woman in Britain said that her pet goldfish survived for seven hours in the open air outside of his tank, which is a world record — for goldfish torture. In the fish world,  that’s known as ‘airboarding.'” -Jimmy Fallon
 
“Today, President Obama canceled the White House Easter Egg Hunt. Instead, the kids will be on the White House lawn drilling for oil.” -Jay Leno
 
“‘Clash of the Titans’ does look pretty good because it’s based on Greek mythology and has the Greek icons: Zeus, Mount Olympus, the big fat weddings.” -Craig Ferguson        
  

Joke of the day  

A preacher of the old school was describing the events of Judgement Day and, of course, he used Biblical phraseology whenever he could.  “Oh, my friends,” he intoned, “imagine the suffering of the sinners as they find themselves cast into the outer darkness, removed from the presence of the Lord and given to eternal flames. My friends, at such a time there will be weeping, wailing and a great gnashing of teeth!”  At this point, one of the elders of the congregation interrupted to say, “But Reverend, what if one of those hopeless sinners has no teeth?”  The preacher crashed his fist on the pulpit, “My friends, the Lord is not put out by details. Rest assured… teeth will be provided!”

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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “If I’m wrong, nothing happens. We go to jail – peacefully, quietly. We’ll enjoy it. But if I’m right, and we CAN stop this thing… Lenny… you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters!”

Answer: Ghost Busters! In this hilarious scene, the mayor of New York City (David Margulies) is mediating a confrontation between the Ghost Busters and Environmental Protection Agency agent Walter Peck (William Atherton). Ghost Buster Dr. Peter Venkman (Bill Murray) maintains a terrible infestation of ghosts is about to hit NYC and that the Ghost Busters should be allowed to combat them. Agent Peck thinks the Ghost Busters are quacks and con artists and wants to shut them down. Dr. Venkman says line one to the mayor, who then pauses, thinking it over. During the pause he looks at his friend, the Archbishop of NYC (Tom McDermott), who nods approvingly. Agent Peck is astounded by this and exclaims line two. His mind made up, the mayor then says line three (referring to agent Peck) and a NYC policeman hustles Peck out of the room. “Ghost Busters” tells the story of three professors who specialize in parapsychology. When they are thrown out of their college (because their dean think they’re a joke), they discuss forming a business that specializes in ghost removal. Dr. Raymond Stantz (Dan Aykroyd) isn’t so sure, however, and comments, “You don’t know what it’s like out there. I’ve worked in the private sector. They expect results!” 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from????  “You’re a lying Irish hooker from Portland and you used me to get Jack Reed to marry you!” “No, I didn’t. I just want us to be friends.”  

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Monday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face.” 

ANSWER: Those lyrics go with Christina Aguilera’s “Hurt”, from her album “Back to Basics”.       

Tuesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.”  “Step out the Caddy Deville, It’s on a base of steel, Them boys checkin us out, Know when we dress to kill”? 

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Monday’s Quizzler is..  

Make GAR (fish) evolve into DOG (mammal) by changing one letter at a time. Each change must produce a valid word in the English language. But there is a catch. The evolution must go through BOA (reptile) and OWL (bird). No word can be used more than once.

GAR —-> BOA —-> OWL —-> DOG 

ANSWER:  GAR < BAR BAY BOY BOA < BOG BIG BID AID AIL OIL OWL <
OWE EWE EYE DYE DOE DOG    

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…

Below are two clues for words that are homophones of each other. For example, “Number after one…Also” would result in “Two…Too”. Can you get all of the words?

1. Tiny Spider…Not sure if I will or not
2. Made the gun more accurate…Quoted
3. Prophet…Scorch
4. Container…Light
5. Head organ…Yes 

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Answers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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