Welcome, to Friday April 9th. RULES OF THE OFFICE

**If it rings, put it on hold;

**If it clanks, call the repairman;

**If it whistles, ignore it;

**If it’s a friend, take a break;

**If it’s the boss, look busy;

**If it talks, take notes;

**If it’s handwritten, type it;

**If it’s typed, copy it;

**If it’s copied, file it;

**If it’s Friday, forget it!
Hey I’m just saying. Have a great WEEKEND people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    
   
Quotes of the Day 

“KFC is about to unveil a new sandwich called the ‘Double Down.’ It’s two chicken breasts in place of bread and in
between that is jack cheese and bacon. I forgot to mention one other thing it comes with — the knowledge that you’ve
simply given up.” – Jimmy Fallon

“It was Beatles night on ‘American Idol.’ Some of the worst performers of all time paid tribute to some of
the best performers of all time.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“The FAA announced that they are going to allow airline pilots to take anti-depressants. So now, if your pilot
is drunk, at least he’ll be a happy drunk.” – Jay Leno 

“Scientists now say French kissing can lead to sexually transmitted diseases. I think I have a way to avoid French
kissing: Get married.” -David Letterman
 
“In 2001, a blind American climber reached the summit of Mount Everest. At least that’s what they told him.”
-Craig Ferguson
 
“KFC is about to unveil a new sandwich called the ‘Double Down.’ It’s two chicken breasts in place of bread and in
between that is jack cheese and bacon. I forgot to mention one other thing it comes with — the knowledge that you’ve
simply given up.” -Jimmy Fallon 

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes

Although desperate to find work, I passed up a job I found on an employment website. It was for a wastewater plant operator. Among the job requirements: “Must be able to swim.”

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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “You here to make fun of me too?” “No, ma’am. We at the FBI do not have a sense of humor we’re aware of. May we come in?” 

Answer:Men In Black. In this scene Men In Black Agent J (Will Smith) and Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) are visiting the home of Edgar and Beatrice, to investigate a story in a supermarket tabloid that was headlined “An Alien Stole My Husband’s Skin.” The two agents often use such stories to keep abreast of alien activity in New York City. Beatrice (Siobhan Fallon) has encountered other reporters and police officials who ridiculed her story and she warily says line one. Agent K reassures her with line two, and Beatrice invites them to come in her house. After hearing her story (and realizing they might have a dangerous bug on earth), Agent K erases her memory of their visit with a flash from his pen-shaped neuralizer and implants a rational explanation for her observations (what happened is swamp gas refracted the light from Venus). “Men In Black” follows the activities of a top-secret organization under Chief Zed (Rip Torn) that monitors and polices alien activity on earth.    

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “Sir, do you not see?” “What?” “Don Quixote battles six merchants from Toledo and saves Dulcinea’s virtue!” “Who the devil is Dulcinea?” 

TODAY’S MOVIE TRIVIA AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD.  GREAT JOB KIM! 

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Thursday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006, try and identify which song or which artist.” “True or false it may be, she’s still out to get me”.

ANSWER: “Naive”-The Kooks. From the album “Inside in, Inside out”.         

Friday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.”  “Well here we go again, you’ve found yourself a friend that knows you well,” __________________________________________________________________________________________________ 
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is..  
The following clues give definitions for world capitals. These definitions describe what the capitals (just the city) sound like they would mean.
1) This capital is a recently opened store for cooked meats.
2) This capital is plant-covered bovine.
3) This capital is a tool used for fighting.
4) This capital is a royal weight.
5) This capital is a cheer for a body of water.
6) This capital is the legendary vehicle graveyard.
7) This capital is something that annoys a religious figure.
8) This capital is a basic digit.
9) This capital is something you get from the sun.
10) This capital is a score for a ringer. 

ANSWER: 1) New Delhi (New Deli), India, 2) Moscow (Moss Cow), Russia, 3) Warsaw (War Saw), Poland
4) Kingston (King’s Ton), Jamaica, 5) Beirut (Bay Root), Lebanon, 6) Khartoum (Car Tomb), Sudan
7) Budapest (Buddha Pest), Hungary, 8) Quito (Key Toe), Ecuador, 9) Bern (Burn), Switzerland
10) Belgrade (Bell Grade), Serbia and Montenegro  

Friday’s Quizzler is…

In this teaser your job is to discover what all the words in COLUMN A have in common with each other. The words in COLUMN B do not have any relationship with COLUMN A or with each other. They are there to help you check your theory for the words in COLUMN A. COLUMN B is also there to eliminate answers that are technically correct, but trivial, such as ‘words with less than 12 letters’, and so on. Good luck!

GROUP A

Chic
Plan
Star
Spun
Thin

GROUP B

Full
Only
Mind
Hear
Turn 

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Answers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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