Welcome, to Monday April 12th. Deep Thoughts for today……. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice?”

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all?”

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Hey I’m just saying. Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    
   
Quotes of the Day 
Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it.
Maurice Chevalier 

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
Albert Einstein 

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perpetual anesthesia – to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess.
H.L. Mencken
 
Love is the gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everyone else.
George Bernard Shaw
 
The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
George Bernard Shaw
 
The only true love is love at first sight; second sight dispels it.
Israel Zangwill
 
To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.
Bertrand Russell   

 Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Confucius Says:

Man who stand on toilet high on pot.

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

He who eats too many prunes, sits on potty many moons.

Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self.

Man who make love to girl on hill…he not on level.

Honeymoon over when man who whispered sweet nothings before now say nothing sweet.

Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself.

Man who drive like hell bound to get there.. 

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “Sir, do you not see?” “What?” “Don Quixote battles six merchants from Toledo and saves Dulcinea’s virtue!” “Who the devil is Dulcinea?”

Answer:  Patton. In this scene German Captain Oskar Steiger (Siegfried Rauch) has just tried to sum up a description of American General George S. Patton, Jr. (George C. Scott) for German General Alfred Jodl (Richard Münch) by describing him as, “Patton is a romantic warrior lost in contemporary times.” General Jodl doesn’t understand, so Capt. Steiger quotes a newspaper story that tells how Patton reacted when he observed some men trying to push a girl into a van. He fought with the men, trying to stop them (she was later revealed to be a fiancé of one of the men). Steiger says line one, and then when General Jodl still is puzzled, he adds line three. Jodl still doesn’t get it and says line four. “Patton” follows the WWII career of extremely talented but very complex American General George S. Patton, Jr. He was a brilliant tank tactician at the leading edge of tank strategy but identified with the ancient past (“God, how I hate the twentieth century”). “Apocalypse Now” is set in the Vietnam War, “All Quiet on the Western Front” is in WWI, and “MASH” is in the Korean War.  

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from????  “I was surprised. You know, I didn’t really think she was gonna die. I knew she was sick.””She had TB.””I know! I mean, she was coughing her brains out, and still she had to keep singing!”  

__________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Friday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006, try and identify which song or which artist.” “Well here we go again, you’ve found yourself a friend that knows you well,”  

ANSWER: “Steady as She Goes”-The Raconteurs. From the album “Broken Boy Soldiers.” Jack White formed ‘The Raconteurs’ as a side project from his other band, ‘The White Stripes.’      

Monday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “She’s a runner, rebel, and a stunner”. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ 
 
Friday’s Quizzler is..  

In this teaser your job is to discover what all the words in COLUMN A have in common with each other. The words in COLUMN B do not have any relationship with COLUMN A or with each other. They are there to help you check your theory for the words in COLUMN A. COLUMN B is also there to eliminate answers that are technically correct, but trivial, such as ‘words with less than 12 letters’, and so on. Good luck!

GROUP A
Chic
Plan
Star
Spun
Thin

GROUP B
Full
Only
Mind
Hear
Turn  

ANSWER: All the words in Column A can form a new word when followed by ‘K’.
1. Chick, 2. Plank, 3. Stark, 4. Spunk, 5. Think  

Monday’s Quizzler is…

Each of the following clues refers to a word that begins with “ten”. Can you guess all ten of them?

1. Inclination
2. Delicate or gentle
3. A sinew
4. A racket game
5. Capable of being stretched
6. Between the bass and alto
7. Stretched tight
8. Unsubstantial
9. A dwelling
10. An opinion held to be true. 

================================================================================================
Answers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.org.  ww.hopeBUILD.org. www.Eucmaninc.com. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.BTWASHZPROD.com.   www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net.  www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com.