Welcome, to Thursday April 22nd. Here’s a repeat titled the Differences between men and women. I had to run it again because some of the guys felt that the women just didn’t get the first time!  Remember don’t hate the messenger!

1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and
Scrappy.

2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of
them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. 
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, but it’s on sale.

4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these
items.

5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that… is the beginning of a new
argument.

6.CATS
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.

7. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get
the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

8. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

9. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

10. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does. Hey I’m just saying. Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    
   
Quotes of the Day 

“There’s a new comic book coming out about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s life. In the comic, Arnold battles
his life-long nemesis: words.” – Jimmy Fallon

“I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.”
– Steven Wright

“She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.” – Groucho Marx   

Guaranteed to Make You Laff!
——————

A group of foreign dignitaries are visiting Israel. At the end of the tour, they are taken to see the Tomb of the
Unknown Soldier. They look at the tomb and read the following inscription: ABRAHAM SCHWARTZ BORN 5694 DIED 5733 A GOOD MAN AND A GREAT FURRIER. The visitors are incredulous. They ask the guide, “How can this be an unknown soldier if the grave has his name?” Their host responds, “Sure, as a soldier he was unknown, but as a furrier — he was the best!”

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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  “Hi, my name’s Mae, and that’s more than a name, that’s an attitude.” 

Answer: A League of Their Own. These words were said by Mae Mordabito, as she spoke to reporters during a game of baseball. The plot of the 1992 film, “A League of Their Own”, revolved around two sisters, Dottie Hinson, (played by Geena Davis), and younger sister, Kit Keller, (played by Lori Petty). The film documented their introduction into the first ever All-American Girls Professional Baseball League (AAGPBL), and their struggle to remain close, after one sister was pushed out of her team in order to convince the other to stay in the league. 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “Don’t you tell me what to see! I see someone in front of me who got his partner in trouble and sent her off to some butcher, while he moved on to an innocent young girl like my daughter!”  

TODAY’S MOVIE TRIVIA MASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MR. STEVE SCHICK!  GREAT JOB STEVE!

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Wednesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006, try and identify which song or which artist.” “It’s hard for me to tell you I love you, as I’m standin’ over your grave.”

ANSWER:”Missing You”-First Lady. First Lady wrote this beautiful song when her boyfriend died. However, she dedicates it to everyone who has ever lost a loved one.         

Thursday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “When she asks for something boy, she means it. Even if you never ever see it”. 

TODAY’S CRAZY DEFINTIONS MASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MR. STEVE SCHICK!  GREAT SOLVING STEVE!

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Wednesday’s Quizzler is..  
The U.S. Presidents made some horrible political decisions. They decided to hide from the mob coming after them by hiding in these five sentences. You are hired as a private sleuth to find each of them. Can you find their last names in these five sentences?

1. Ice pops taste the best on hot afternoons.
2. The weird dictator said that he would build magenta dams.
3. The man told his mother that he wouldn’t be home for dinner.
4. I have to fill more of the holes our dog dug in the yard.
5. I was going to take the bus home, but I missed it. 

ANSWER: Answers are indicated with capital letters:
1. Ice pops taste the best on hoT AFTernoons.
2. The weird dictator said that he would build magentA DAMS.
3. The man told his mother that he wouldn’t be home FOR Dinner.
4. I have to FILL MORE of the holes our dog dug in the yard.
5. I was going to take the BUS Home, but I missed it.  

Thursday’s Quizzler is…

In this teaser your job is to discover what all the words in COLUMN A have in common with each other.

The words in COLUMN B do not have any relationship with COLUMN A or with each other. They are there to help you check your theory for the words in COLUMN A. COLUMN B is also there to eliminate answers that are technically correct, but trivial, such as ‘words with less than 12 letters’, and so on. Good luck!

COLUMN A
1. Rite
2. Oven
3. Hole
4. Ring
5. Itch

COLUMN B
1. Race
2. Boil
3. Held
4. Item
5. Rope 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5 AND MS. KIM HILLYARD! INCREDIBLE JOB LADIES.  

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Answers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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