Welcome, to Wednesday April 27th. How a look at Murphy’s Laws of Work…… 

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.

Don’t be irreplaceable, if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a darn fool about it.

Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.

When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives.

Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.

After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like.

If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done. Hey I’m just saying. Have a great day people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    
   
Quotes of the Day 

“Yesterday, a group of scientists warned that because of global warming, sea levels will rise so much that parts of
New Jersey will be under water. The bad news? Parts of New Jersey won’t be under water.” –Conan O’Brien 
 
“It’s always the same with new inventions. I can remember when calculators came out. We weren’t allowed to use them
in school. The teachers would say, ‘Calculators prevent you from learning arithmetic.’ I’d say, ‘I’m going into
show business.’ ‘Well, you’ll need arithmetic to count your crushed dreams.'” -Craig Ferguson
 
“Here’s a great story: A guy in Alaska goes fishing and he catches a 90-year-old fish, a 90-year-old fish. You know,
I look at it this way — if I want a 90-year-old fish, I’ll just order the seafood platter at Red Lobster.”
-Dave Letterman

“There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the labor of thinking.” – Thomas A. Edison

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”
– Robert Frost

“I have such poor vision I can date anybody.” – Garry Shandling 
  

Guaranteed to make you laugh.. 

“Information? I need the number of Caseway Insurance Company.”
“Would you spell that, please?”
“Certainly. That’s C as in cadence. A as in aye. S as in sea.
E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you.”
“Just a minute, sir. I’ll connect you with my supervisor.” 
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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  “I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven’t slept all night, I’m starved, AND I’m armed! Don’t MESS with me!” 

Answer: Miss Congeniality. These words were said by Gracie, to her colleague, Eric, following her overnight transformation into a woman worthy of entering the Miss United States pageant. The plot of the 2000 film, “Miss Congeniality”, revolved around FBI agent Gracie Hart’s (played by Sandra Bullock) transformation into a Miss United Stats pageant candidate. Despite her tomboy habits, with the help of mentor, Victor Melling, (played by Michael Caine), Gracie managed to not only pass for a real candidate, but also foil a terrorist attempt.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “But the thing is, um, what I’m trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are.” __________________________________________________________________________________________________ 
Tuesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “He said, ‘Son, when you grow up , would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned'” 

ANSWER: Welcome To The Black Parade. “Welcome To The Black Parade” debuted on the American pop chart in September of 2006. Seventeen weeks later, on January 7th, 2008, the song peaked at number nine and went on to spend a total of 26 weeks on the Hot 100. My Chemical Romance was formed in Jersey City, New Jersey in 2001 by Gerard Way, Mikey Way, Frank Iero, Ray Toro and Bob Bryar. Following their success with the platinum-certified album “Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge”, the band released “The Black Parade” on October 23rd, 2006 and watched it rise to number two on the Billboard’s Top 200 album chart. The album spawned four top twenty hits in Britain including “Famous Last Words”, “I Don’t Love You” and “Teenagers”. The single “Welcome To The Black Parade” was easily their most successful worldwide, reaching the top 20 in New Zealand, Finland, Ireland, Australia, Norway, Portugal and Italy.       

Wednesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “We missed you on the charts last week, darn, that’s right, you wasn’t there”

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Tuesday’s Quizzler is..   

Customer services at RightWrite headquarters received the following letter recently. Luckily their top puzzle solvers were able to determine the meaning and help Mrs Miggins. Can you work it out what her problem was?
Da S,
ld lk cmlan ab h f m .
hs ls aa n k ccl.
As can s, hs ls a mssng fm hs dcmn.
ld b v gafl f cld cc hs blm fhh.
Man hanks,
Ms Mggns.   

ANSWER: The letter was written on a typewriter which has a problem with the top row of letters – they did not print. The letter should have read:

Dear Sir,
I would like to complain about the top row of my typewriter.
These letters appear not to work correctly.
As you can see, these letters are missing from this document.
I would be very grateful if you could correct this problem forthwith.
Many thanks,

Mrs Miggins. 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…  

Each group of three definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.

1a) a bone in the leg
1b) arboreal mammal, common to Madagascar
1c) to take exception or object

2a) a mixture of liquids, as for medicine
2b) a liquid preparation for cosmetic use
2c) an opinion or view

3a) something having a spiral or twisted form
3b) to hold back or restrain
3c) the thick part of coagulated milk

4a) to beat or damage with repeated blows
4b) to trade by exchange of goods
4c) good-natured witty joking 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. CARRIE PALOMBO! GREAT JOB, BRILLIANT WORK!   

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Answers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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