Welcome, to Thursday April 28th. Confucius Says: Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion.

Man who love and loses, have not right lawyer.

When lady say `no´ she mean `perhaps´ when she say `perhaps´ she mean `yes´ but when she say `yes´, she not a lady.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

When man 60 marry girl 25, like buying book for someone else to read.

Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.
Hey I’m just saying. Have a great day people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    
   
Quotes of the Day 

“President Obama and some prominent Democrats proposed a solution to the erupting volcano — they want to pour money into it.” -Jay Leno
 
“They’ve opened an exclusive nightclub in New York City, just for dogs. This is why the rest of the world hates us.” -David Letterman
 
“Apparently the Icelandic volcano crisis cost the airline industry more than three billion dollars. Which explains
why Delta’s new bag-check fee is $400,000.” -Jimmy Fallon    

Guaranteed to make you laugh..  

While working in the library at a university, I was often shocked by the excuses students would use to get out of paying their fees for overdue books. One evening an older student returned two books that were way overdue and threw a fit over the “outrageous” $2 fee that I asked her to pay. I tried to explain how much she owed for each day, but she insisted she should be exempt. “You don’t understand,” she blurted out. “I didn’t even read them!”  

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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “But the thing is, um, what I’m trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much.  Just as you are.”  
Answer: Bridget Jones’s Diary.  These words were said by Mark to Bridget at the end of a dinner party, prompting Bridget to remain uncharacteristically quiet. The plot of the 2001 film, “Bridget Jones’s Diary”, revolved around singleton, Bridget’s (played by Renée Zellweger) attempts to find love. After falling for her roguish boss, Daniel Cleaver, (played by Hugh Grant), Bridget spent a few happy weeks planning their future, until the rug was eventually pulled out from under her feet. Meanwhile her parents split up, and her career nosedived, giving her plenty of additional things to worry about. However amidst all the drama, Mark Darcy, (played by Colin Firth), hovered on the sidelines, as the proverbial knight in shining armour, just waiting for an opportunity to sweep Bridget off her feet. 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “My insurance does not cover PMS!” __________________________________________________________________________________________________ 
Wednesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006, try and identify which song or which artist.” “We missed you on the charts last week, darn, that’s right, you wasn’t there” 

ANSWER: Give It To Me. “Give It To Me” by Timbaland featuring Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake debuted on the American charts in February of 2007. On April 21st, it took a huge leap from number 42 to number one and remained there for two weeks. It was the first number one for Timbaland as a recording artist (he had multiple number ones previously as a producer), the third chart topper for Nelly Furtado and the fourth for Justin Timberlake. The song also went to number one in the United Kingdom and Bulgaria and reached the top ten in a dozen other countries.       

Thursday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “She’s, like, so whatever, you could do so much better”

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Wednesday’s Quizzler is..   

Each group of three definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.

1a) a bone in the leg
1b) arboreal mammal, common to Madagascar
1c) to take exception or object

2a) a mixture of liquids, as for medicine
2b) a liquid preparation for cosmetic use
2c) an opinion or view

3a) something having a spiral or twisted form
3b) to hold back or restrain
3c) the thick part of coagulated milk

4a) to beat or damage with repeated blows
4b) to trade by exchange of goods
4c) good-natured witty joking  

ANSWER: 1) femur, lemur, demur
2) potion, lotion, notion
3) curl, curb, curd
4) batter, barter, banter 

Thursday’s Quizzler is…  

Four well known sayings have been reworded below. Can you identify the originals?
Example : Lack of awareness brings elation. (Ignorance is bliss.)

1. Stop sleeping and sniff the java.
2. Fine items approach people who have patience.
3. One should not rate a volume by the lid.
4. Progress to the rhythm of another bongo player     

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Answers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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