Welcome, to Monday May 10th.  The First Annual Duh Award ……………………………..

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,”
– Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest. 

“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff,”
– Mariah Carey 

“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life,”
– Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign. 

“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,”
– Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward. 

“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,”
– Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC. 

“We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees,”
– Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks. 

“I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president,”
– Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents. 

“Half this game is ninety percent mental.”
– Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark 

“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”
– Al Gore, Vice President 

“I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.”
– Dan Quayle 

“It’s no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another”
– George Bush, US President 

“We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?”
– Lee Iacocca 

“I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version,”
– Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony. 

“The word “genius” isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein,”
– Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst. 

“We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.”
– Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor. 

“We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur.”
– Al Gore, VP 

“Traditionally, most of Australia’s imports come from overseas.”
– Keppel Enderbery 

“The loss of life will be irreplaceable.”
– Dan Quayle 

“I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have is that I didn’t study my Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.
– Dan Quayle, VP 

“It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago!”
– Dan Quayle, VP 

“Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself.
It is different from the other 49 states. Well, all states are different, but it’s got a particularly unique situation.”
– Dan Quayle, VP 

“If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there’ll be a record.”- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman  
 
Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    
 
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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????   “Relax… A hickie from Kenickie is like a Hallmark card, when you only care enough to send the very best!”  

Answer:  Grease. These words were said by Kenickie, to his girlfriend, Rizzo, after she expressed annoyance at the purple marks around her neck.  The plot of the 1978 film, “Grease”, revolved around a budding romance between popular T-Bird, Danny Zucco, (played by John Travolta), and Goodie Two Shoes, Sandy Olsson, (played by Olivia Newton John). The film chronicled the trials and tribulations of their relationship, as they struggled to fit into each other’s world.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “You’re falling for your wife! Idiot!”

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Friday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “Right now, he’s probably dabbing on three dollars worth of that bathroom Polo, oh and he don’t know…” 

ANSWER:  Stirred ten lumps of sugar inside that 20 gallon tank.  “Before He Cheats” first hit the U.S. country charts in 2006 where it peaked at number one in November and held that spot for five weeks. The song slowly rode the pop singles chart where it peaked at number eight in June of 2007. The song remained on the Billboard Hot 100 for an incredible 64 weeks, becoming only the third song to remain so long on this chart. The song also did well in Canada where it peaked at number five on Canada’s Singles chart. The song was certified double platinum by the RIAA for selling over two million copies in February, 2008. The song was number six in Billboard’s 2007 year-end survey of the most popular pop songs and number ten for the year’s most popular Adult Contemporary songs.        

Monday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “So I can and I will and you’ll see your hero come running over and over tonight”? 

TODAY’S CRAZY DEFINTIONS MASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS KIM HILLYARD! GREAT JOB KIM.  
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Friday’s Quizzler is..   

Rearrange the letters to form new words, phrases, places, or names.
The words in parentheses are hints.

ONE ON ALP (conqueror)
SEEK A PHRASE (playful fellow)
KNEE CRUTCH ART (great ballet)
NONE MISTER (soup)
TOXIC NAME (April agony)
HE BUGS GORE   

ANSWER: ONE ON ALP – Napoleon
SEEK A PHRASE – Shakespeare
KNEE CRUTCH ART – The Nutcracker
NONE MISTER – minestrone
TOXIC NAME – income tax
HE BUGS GORE – George Bush      

Monday’s Quizzler is…  

In this teaser your task is to discover words, names and phrases relating to the holiday season.

You are to delete a few letters in each unrelated phrase in order to show the holiday. The remaining letters will be in the right order.

For example:

1. EACH WRIST MASHED

becomes: **CH *RIST MAS***

1. SHOO FLY TINS FAINT (delete 6 letters)

2. SAVING THE NICE SHOP LAST (delete 8 letters)

3. MY PULLET IS DEAR (delete 6 letters)

4. BEASTS HEALED THEM (delete 7 letters)   

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Answers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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