Welcome, to Friday May 14th.  Cards You Will Never See In Hallmark……..
1. “Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife.”

2. “How could two people as beautiful you have such an ugly baby?”

3. “I’ve always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I’ve changed my mind.”

4. “I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell til I met you.”

5. “Looking back over the years that we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder: What was I thinking?”

6. “As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you’re not here to ruin it for me.”

7. “If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it’s your sister.”

8. “As you grow older, Mom, I think of all the gifts you’ve given me. Like the need for therapy…”

9. “Thanks for being a part of my life!!!I never knew what evil was before this!”

10. “Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would like to take this knife out of my back. You’ll
probably need it again.” Hey I’m just saying! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    
 
q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y 

“A new survey found that one-third of married women with pets say their animals are better listeners than their
husbands. When husbands heard that they were like, ‘Huh? You say something?'” -Jimmy Fallon
 
“The State Department has warned against travel to the tribal regions of Pakistan. There goes my summer vacation.”
-David Letterman
 
“According to a survey by Playboy magazine, three percent of women can’t remember their natural hair color. You know what  you call these women? Blondes.” -Jay Leno  

“The June edition of Playboy magazine will be printed in 3-D. Haven’t we had that for a while? It’s called a strip
club.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Tyra Banks is writing a new series of kids’ books. She is the first supermodel to write a kids’ book since Kate Moss
wrote ‘Green Eggs and Crack’.” – Craig Ferguson

“The Department of Agriculture has decided to set new, stricter salmonella standards for poultry. I’m no expert,
but I’m pretty sure the standard should just be ‘no salmonella allowed’.” – Jimmy Fallon  

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes 

While we were working at a men’s clothing store, a customer
asked my coworker to help her pick out a tie that would make
her husband’s blue eyes stand out.

“Ma’am,” he explained, “any tie will make blue eyes stand
out if you tie it tight enough.”

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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  “And there, in the same city where they met as girls, four New York women entered the next phase of their lives dressed head to toe in love. And that’s the one label that never goes out of style.”  

Answer:  Sex and the City. These words were said by Carrie, at the very end of the film, as the four women walked along the street together. The plot of the 2008 film, “Sex and the City”, focused on the ups and downs of four female friends, who lived in New York City. Adapted from the hit television show of the same name, the film followed Carrie’s (Sarah Jessica Parker) attempts to marry the love of her life, Mr. Big, (played by Chris Noth). At the same time, Miranda Hobbes (Cynthia Nixon) struggled to come to terms with her husband’s infidelity, while Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall) grew bored with her toy boy. Finally, after years of being unable to conceive naturally, Charlotte York Goldenblatt (played by Kristin Davis), struggled to remain calm while being pregnant. 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from????  “Where are his glasses? He can’t see without his glasses!”

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 Thursday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007, try and identify which song or which artist.” “I’ve given you my best why does she get the best of you?” 

ANSWER: “Stay” – Sugarland. The duo, Sugarland, consists of Jennifer Nettles and Kristian Bush.       

Friday’s Crazy definitions, this quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “You’ve got this look I can’t describe,you make me feel like I’m alive, when everything else is a fade, without a doubt you’re on my side”?

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 Thursday’s Quizzler is..   

Each of the following song titles starts with the letter E. Can you decode them? Each of the songs is in the form of an anagram.
1. Laborer Eying
2. Maternal Feel
3. Hyena Pip
4. Eerie Hefty Got
5. Radar Exiting Lorry  

ANSWER: 1. “Eleanor Rigby” by The Beatles, 2. “Eternal Flame” by The Bangles, 3. “Epiphany” by Staind
4. “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor, 5. “Extraordinary Girl” by Green Day    

Friday’s Quizzler is…   

Each of these pairs of words is a rhyme for a familiar phrase. (ex: car and ride = far and wide)

1. Toe and shell
2. Side and coup
3. Graze and greens
4. Frost and ground
5. Hutch and row
6. Fume and chord
7. Splash and harry
8. Dyed and pique 

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Answers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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