Welcome,to Thursday June 3rd.  How about a look at the most innocent joke of the day! My wife, a real estate agent, wrote an ad for a house she
was listing. The house had a second-floor suite that could be accessed using a lift chair that slid along the staircase.  Quickly describing this feature, she inadvertently made it
sound even more attractive: “Mother-in-law suite comes with an electric chair.” There were people lining up for the room! Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here! 
 
q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y 

I was having some chest pains, but my cardiologist assured me nothing was wrong. Then I told him I was planning a cruise to Alaska and asked if he had any suggestions for avoiding the discomfort. “Have fun,” he said with a straight face, “but don’t go overboard.” 
 
Most people would be angry if their company was bought and the new owners replaced them with their own people. Not our neighbor Andy. “You know how it goes,” he said, waxing philosophical. “Every circus brings its own clowns.”
 
Following a blowout shindig the night before, a co-worker was looking the worse for wear. “Are you feeling all right?” I asked. “I don’t know,” she answered slowly. “I think I’m suffering from post-partying depression.”
 
“I found myself utterly depressed the other day and spent the entire afternoon listening to Celine Dion records… at least that’s what I thought I was doing. Turns out the cat had just fallen into the dryer and was trying to get out.” –Julian Clary 
 
“He’s the kind of friend who will always be there when he needs you.” –Adam Christing 
 
“There’s an old saying – There’s No Place Like Home. Well, I went in the house next door, and it was very, very similar.” –Geoffrey Parfitt 
 
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A parts manager for a small electronics shop, had occasion to order part No. 669 from the factory. But when he received it he noticed that someone had sent part No. 699 instead.  Furious at the factory’s incompetence, he promptly sent the part back along with a letter giving them a piece of his mind. 
Less than a week later, he received the same part back with a letter containing just four words: “TURN THE PART OVER.” 
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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “You can take the girl out of the honky tonk, but you can’t take the honky tonk out of the girl.”  

Answer:  Sweet Home Alabama! These words were said by Jake and Melanie’s friend, Bobby Ray, after Melanie got drunk, and proceeded to beat the men at pool. The plot of the 2002 film, “Sweet Home Alabama” revolved around married, but estranged couple, Jake Perry (Josh Lucas) and Melanie Carmicheal (Reese Witherspoon). Having left Alabama behind in order to pursue a fashion career, Melanie was forced to return in order ask her husband for a divorce, so that she could marry her city boyfriend, Andrew Hennings, (played by Patrick Dempsey).   

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from????  ‘On second thought, let’s not go to Camelot. ‘Tis a silly place.’

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Wednesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007, try and identify which song or which artist.” “I close both blinds and turn away. Sometimes solutions aren’t so simple, sometimes goodbye’s the only way.” 

ANSWER: “Shadow Of The Day”- Linkin Park! “Shadow Of The Day” is from Linkin Park’s CD “Minutes To Midnight”. Some of their other CDs include “Hybrid Theory” and “Meteora”. Linkin Park was formed in 1996 in Agoura Hills, California.          

Thursday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “They don’t make ’em like this anymore. I ask cause I’m that sure,”

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Wednesday’s Quizzler is..  

The following clues refer to the names of several young women, in the form of Miss Suchandsuch.
These names then actually form a new word (although there will be a spelling difference with one s missing) For example, “This young woman obeys all the rules” would be misbehave (Miss Behave)
Can you figure out the rest of the words?

1. This young woman is in great shape.
2. This young woman is very generous at Christmas.
3. This young woman showed me where to go.
4. You could tell this young woman all your secrets.
5. This young woman knew exactly what I meant.
6. This young woman is exactly the right choice.
7. This young woman could lead the orchestra.  

Answer: 1. Misfit, 2. Misgiving, 3. Misguided, 4. Mistrust, 5. Misunderstood, 6. Misappropriate, 7. Misconduct 

Thursday’s Quizzler is…   

Each of the sentences below use two words which are synonyms of each other, but here in these sentences, they are not used with the same meaning. Can you find the words ?

1. You cannot ______ to imagine what a _____ you gave me.

2. Service is my ______ name, you will always find me in the community _______.

3. The cook used the largest ______ to make a stew for the full compliment of the _____.

4. They agreed to meet outside the _____ of justice for their _____.

5. I know you will _____ me for this purchase, I cannot _____ you.

6. The ______ of bids for the ______ of Eros was unparalleled.  

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Answers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com.
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