Welcome, to Thursday June 10th.  Today the Eucman brings you a look at a woman’s dictionary…..
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but he just hasn’t realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. 

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See “Magician.”

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn’t coming out anytime soon.

Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say “focus,…breath…push…”

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear…!

Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, “to go somewhere and neck.” After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also “tranquilizers.”

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

Valentine’s Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card. 
 
Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!  

q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y 
“President Obama pitched his healthcare bill to a group of seniors. According to a poll, half of the seniors thought the president was convincing, 30 percent thought he was unconvincing, and the rest thought he was Will Smith.” -Craig Ferguson
 
“A surgeon in Florida was fined $5,000 for removing the kidney of a patient instead of the gallbladder. The surgeon said, ‘I am so sorry for the mistake, and I mean that from the bottom of the red, pumpy thingy in my chest.'” –Jimmy Fallon
 
“A young American woman named Anamika Veeramani won the Scripps National Spelling Bee. You know what word she spelled that no one else could spell? Her name.” -Jay Leno 
 
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes 

On our way to my parents’ house for dinner one evening, I glanced over at my 15-year-old daughter. “Isn’t that skirt a bit short?” I asked. She rolled her eyes at my comment and gave me one of those “Oh, Mom” looks. When we arrived at my folks’ place, my mother greeted us at the door, hugged my daughter, then turned to me and looking me over with a critical eye said, “Elizabeth! Don’t you think that blouse is awfully low-cut?” 

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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘Mickey is a mouse, Donald is a duck, Pluto is a dog. What’s Goofy?’  

Answer: Stand by Me! “Stand by Me” is based on Stephen King’s novel, “The Body”. It’s about four kids who run away for a couple days on a quest to find the body of a local kid who went missing. Gordie says this one night while they’re sitting around, discussing the things that ‘used to seem important, until they discovered girls’.   

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from????  ‘Do you think I’d speak for you? I don’t even know your language!’

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Wednesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2008, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “Stacks on deck, Patron on ice, we could pop bottles all night”  

ANSWER: Whatever You Like! “Whatever You Like” was the first single released from T.I.’s number one album “Paper Trail” which went platinum along with the song. “Whatever You Like” debuted at number 99 on August 23rd, 2008 and, during its 31 week run on the Hot 100, it remained in the top ten for 19 weeks, and the top 40 for 29 weeks. It hit number one three times during its seven non-consecutive weeks on top, only the third single in chart history to achieve this feat. T.I.’s follow-up “Live Your Life” went to number one and stayed there for six weeks in the fall. While “Live Your Life” was a bigger hit abroad, “Whatever You Like” managed to reach the top in New Zealand and the top 50 in over a half dozen other countries.   

Thursday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “This club has got to be the most pretentious thing since I thought you and me”
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Wednesday’s Quizzler is..  

The following is some wisdom from Lillian Hellman, one of America’s greatest playwrights. Can you decode it?

All three puzzles use the same code.  R=F

“A JAGO VOSVJO QXS BORKEO HS EVOCG KMHAJ HXOZ CBO BOCLZ HS EVOCG.”

“IZMAIAEP AE CM KMVJOCECMH QCZ SR ECZAMU HXO HBKHX.”

“VOSVJO IXCMUO…CML RSBUOH HS HOJJ OCIX SHXOB.”    

Answer: “I like people who refuse to speak until they are ready to speak.”

“Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.”

“People change…and forget to tell each other.”

Key: A=I, B=R, C=A, E=S, G=K, H=T, I=C, J=L, K=U, L=D, M=N, O=E, P=M, Q=W, R=F
S=O, U=G, V=P, X=H, Z=Y   

Thursday’s Quizzler is…  

Fill in the answers to the clues by using all the syllables. The number to be used is in parentheses.
AD AR ECH ISH IST MON O SUG TLE TUR TYP

1. Sweetener (2)
2. Keyboard user (2)
3. Sound reflection (2)
4. Tortoise’s kin (2)
5. Chide (3)  

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Answers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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