Welcome, ‏to Thursday July 1st.  Doctor’s Reports…..

1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.

3. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.

4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

5. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

6. Healthy appearing decrepit 99 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

7. The patient refused an autopsy.

8. The patient has no past history of suicides.

9. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

10. Patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our Car for physical therapy.

20. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

21. Skin: Somewhat pale but present.

22. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

23. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Hey I’m just saying! Have a great day people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!   
 
q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y 
“According to a new survey that just came out, the issue most on the minds of college students is whether they’ll be able to find a job when they graduate. Experts say it’s silly for college students to worry about whether or not they’ll be able to find a job — because the answer is no.” -Conan O’Brien
 
“To promote the use of clean energy, a Swiss adventurist is going to fly around the world in a solar-powered airplane. He’s just praying that nothing bad will happen…like night.” -Jimmy Fallon
 
“A new study says that whether or not you’re shy depends on your jeans. I knew that years ago — if you wear jeans that show off your thong, you’re not shy.” -Craig Ferguson

Guaranteed  to  Roll  Your  Eyes 
His aching back made it impossible for my friend’s husband to get a decent night’s rest on their lumpy mattress. “Until I feel better, I’m going to sleep on the couch,” he announced. Ordinarily, a spouse moving out of the bedroom isn’t a good sign for the marriage. So his wife couldn’t resist: “Okay, but as soon as we have an argument you’re back in our bed.” 

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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  “No, we’re okay, now that we’re not murdered”.  

Answer: Joy Ride!  In “Joy Ride”(2001), three teenagers take a road trip and decide to play a prank on a truck driver by pretending to be a pretty girl over the CB. The prank goes bad, however, and the kids soon find themselves fearing for their lives. Fuller said this quote when a different truck driver approached their car to see if they needed any help. Fuller was played by Steve Zahn, who I think is one of the funniest actors who always gets great lines.      

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “What do you love about music?” “In a word? Everything”.

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Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2008, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “Never mind what haters say, ignore them ’til they fade away. Amazing they ungrateful after all the game I gave away. Safe to say I paved the way, for you cats to get paid today. You still be wasting days away now had I never saved the day.  Consider them my protégé, homage I think they should pay. Instead of being gracious, they violate in a major way. I never been a hater still I love them, in a crazy way.”   

ANSWER: “Live Your Life” – T.I feat Rihanna! The beginning of the song was taken from O-Zones’s “Numa Numa” (known by that name in the U.S.) “Live Your Life” originally had Rhianna having her own verse and the beginning was a dedication for the solders in Iraq. This song was first aired on September 10, 2008.   

Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “Mistakes we have made everything will change, But love remains the same”

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Wednesday’s Quizzler is..  

Can you discover the missing number in this series?
37, 10, 82
29, 11, 47
96, 15, 87
42, ?, 15 

Answer: The missing number is 6. The number in the middle of each triple is the same as the digits of either end’s number when added together. 3+7=10=8+2 and so on.  

Thursday’s Quizzler is…  

In this teaser, you are to start with the letter ‘U’, and then each time add a letter and shuffle it to make a new word. You need to continue this process until you reach the word ‘PRODUCE’.

Not including ‘U’, you must do this in six (6) turns.

Good luck.

U
_ _
_ _ _
_ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _
P R O D U C E  

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Answers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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