Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome, ‏to Friday July 2nd. How about 10 Things You NEVER EVER Want to Hear at a Funeral Eulogy?

1. She died as she lived: oddly dressed and smelling vaguely of turpentine.

2. Death is not an end, but a beginning. Specifically, the beginning of an eternity of black nothingness.

3. He touched all of our lives. Unfortunately, he also touched several of our children.

4. There’s no getting around it: Bob was a big, fat, sweaty pig of a man, which means that now, there’s more pie for the rest of us. Dig in!

5. His spirit will be with us always. And by spirit, I mean overwhelming credit card debt.

6. I still can’t get over that he’s gone. I also can’t get over that I totally survived that same car accident! Can you believe it? I should have had my head cracked off like what’s-his-name here.

7. Steve wasn’t unhappy about life. He was just super excited to die!

8. It’s always sad when God calls a child home. But in the case of Larry here, I’m not so sad. Nice guy, smoked too much, whatever. So to Larry – nice knowing you, see you later.

9. I’ll never forget the last time I seen him. He was all, “Betcha $50 I can wrestle a ‘gator.” And I was all, “You’re on!”

10. I never could get with Cynthia. But I wanted to and God knows I tried. Even now, in death, I’d have to say I still wouldn’t kick the broad out of my bed.  
 
Hey I’m just saying! Have a great July 4th weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!   
 
q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y 

“When I’m driving here I see a sign that says, CAUTION: SMALL CHILDREN PLAYING. I slow down, and then it occurs to me, I’m not afraid of small children.” –Jonathan Katz 
 
“Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn’t go far didn’t see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.” –Tim Allen
 
“I can’t stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like, ‘Hey, when are you going to pay me that $100 you owe me?’ or ‘Do you have the $50 you borrowed?’ Man, quit being so cheap!” –Jack Handey

“In heaven all the interesting people are missing.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” – Redd Foxx

“Adventure is just bad planning.” – Roald Amundsen
 
 
Guaranteed  to  Roll  Your  Eyes 

In one of K.C.’s classes, they were discussing the qualifications to be president of the United States. It was pretty simple – the candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age. However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen.  In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president. KC and
the class were just taking it in and letting her rant, but everyone’s jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating, “What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?”  

What’s  On  the  Web? 

DRINK-O-METER

Have you ever wondered just how much alcohol you have
consumed in your lifetime? Or how much you have spent
on those drunken nights? Take this test to find out the
state of your kidneys, wallet and quantity of alcohol
that has invaded your system over the years.

Visit: http://www.iondesign.net/drinkometer/
 
Suburban Cat Herder

The object of this online cat game is to get all the cats
out of the house! Click on groups of adjacent cats of the
same color to herd them out of the house. The more cats
you herd at once, the higher your score. Have fun!

Visit: http://www.yukyuk.com/games_downloads/cat_herder/cat_herder2.shtml 

MR. PICASSO HEAD

Search for the artist within head over to this site.
Put together your own Picasso art piece and share it
with the world!

Visit: http://www.mrpicassohead.com/create.html

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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “What do you love about music?” “In a word? Everything”.   

Answer:  Almost Famous! “Almost Famous”(2000) was based on the real-life experience of director Cameron Crowe, who worked for Rolling Stone magazine when he was a teenager. This quote comes from the very end of the movie, when William finally gets his interview with Russell Hammond.  

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “Go back to the abyss! Fall into nothingness that awaits you and your master!” 

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Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2008, try and identify which song or which artist.” “Mistakes we have made Everything will change, But love remains the same”    

ANSWER: “Love Remains The Same” – Gavin Rossdale! The song “Love Remains the Same” is from his 2008 album “Wanderlust”. This song was released on May 1, 2008. 

Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “Even just for a day I’d roll out of bed in the morning, And throw on what I wanted and go”

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Thursday’s Quizzler is..  

In this teaser, you are to start with the letter ‘U’, and then each time add a letter and shuffle it to make a new word. You need to continue this process until you reach the word ‘PRODUCE’.
Not including ‘U’, you must do this in six (6) turns.
Good luck.
U
_ _
_ _ _
_ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _
P R O D U C E  

Answer:  U
UP
CUP
COUP
COUPE
RECOUP
PRODUCE  

Friday’s Quizzler is…  

Listed below are clues that refer to 2 different words. The sound of these words, put together, make a different compound word. Also, just to make things even trickier, when you figure out the words, you might need to switch them around to find the compound word.

Ex. A piece of bread used for making some sandwiches shaped as the fifth letter of the alphabet. (Bun + E = Bunny)

Can you figure out all the compound words?

1. A relation’s short sleep.
2. The talker was the opposite of quiet.
3. A cube-shaped vehicle.
4. Spade’s situation.  

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Answers in NEXT TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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