Welcome, ‏to Friday July 16th. The Washington Post had a contest wherein participants were asked to tell the younger generation how much harder they had it “in the old days.” Winners, runners-up, and honorable mentions are listed below. 
 
Second Runner-Up: In my day, we couldn’t afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In winter, we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction.  

First Runner-Up: In my day, we didn’t have MTV or in-line skates, or any of that stuff. No, it was 45s and regular old metal-wheeled roller skates, and the 45s always skipped, so to get them to play right you’d weigh the needle down with something like quarters, which we never had because our allowances were way too small, so we’d use our skate keys instead and end up forgetting they were taped to the record player arm so that we couldn’t adjust our skates, which didn’t really matter because those crummy metal wheels would kill you if you hit a pebble anyway, and in those days roads had real pebbles on them, not like today.  

And the winner: In my day, we didn’t have rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads.  

Honorable Mentions:

In my day, we didn’t have fancy health-food restaurants. Every day we ate lots of easily recognizable animal parts, along with potatoes. 
 
In my day, we didn’t have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated. 
 
In my day, we didn’t get that disembodied, slightly ticked-off voice saying ‘Doors closing.’ We got on the train, the doors closed, and if your hand was sticking out, it scraped along the tunnel all the way to the next station and it was a bloody stump at the end. But the base fare was only a dollar. 
 
In my day, we didn’t have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms. 
 
Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise.  

Back in my day, ’60 Minutes’ wasn’t just a bunch of gray-haired, liberal 80-year-old guys. It was a bunch of gray-haired, liberal 60-year-old guys.  

Back in my day, they hadn’t invented electricity. We had to watch television by candlelight. Hey I’m just saying! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here! 
 
q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y 

“I had an accident on an alpine slide. If you’ve never been on an alpine slide, it’s like a waterslide without the water. Until my accident, then it became like a waterslide.” -Craig Ferguson
 
“Mel Gibson was heard on an audio tape screaming obscenities at his girlfriend. In Hollywood, they say there’s no such thing as bad press. Well, now, I think there is.” -David Letterman
 
“Pennsylvania is coming out with wine vending machines. They say it’s the perfect way to tell your date, ‘I totally forgot this was tonight.'” -Jimmy Fallon
 
G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s

During a conference, I was pleasantly surprised to be seated next to a very handsome man. We flirted casually through dinner, then grew restless as the dignitaries gave speeches. During one particularly long-winded lecture, my new friend drew a # sign on a cocktail napkin. Excited, I wrote down my phone number. Looking startled for a moment, he flipped the napkin over and drew another # sign, this time adding an X to the upper-left-hand corner.   
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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  “It-it’s not as if she were a–a maniac–a raving thing. She just goes a little mad sometimes. We all go a little mad sometimes. Haven’t you?”  

Answer: Psycho!  “Psycho” was an 1960 Alfred Hitchcock film. This movie was about a woman who lived in Phoenix, Arizona and she wanted to be with her boyfriend in California and she stole some money from her company and took off driving to California. She encountered a rainstorm and had to stop for the night at a desolate looking motel, the Bates Motel. The desk clerk Norman got her a room and then offered to feed her some supper. It was after the woman had heard him arguing with ‘his mother’ that the conversation came up, and after the woman asked why he put up with her fussing that he uttered that line. Later on we would find out his mother had been dead quite awhile and that he was ‘psycho’ and would dress up as his mother and talk as his mother and murder innocent people who happened to stay at their motel. The famous shower scene came from this movie.  

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “I can’t believe I gave my panties to a geek.”   

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Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2008, try and identify which song or which artist.” “I got friends and you got friends, they hop out and you hop in…”  

ANSWER: Run It! “Run It!” debuted on the Billboard Hot 100 on August 27th, 2005 at number 92. In three short months, the song took over the top spot on November 26th, 2005. The song remained in the top ten for 17 weeks, the top forty for 31 weeks and 38 weeks on the Hot 100. Besides spending two weeks at number one on the U.S. R & B chart, “Run It!” also topped the charts in Australia and New Zealand and went to number two in the United Kingdom and Ireland.   

Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005 try and identify which song or which artist.” “They’re all so beautiful and clean, when the housemaids scrub the floors, they get the spaces in between…” 

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Thursday’s Quizzler is..  

In this teaser, I have given you a 9-letter word. Your job is to break up this word into 9 separate letters and place them on the dashes to spell a 7-letter word, a 5-letter word, and a 3-letter word. You can use each letter only once.

CULTIVATE
1. _ A _ I _ N _
2. _ O _ N _
3. _ C _       

Answer: 1. VALIANT, 2. COUNT, 3. ICE       

Friday’s Quizzler is…  

Replace each word or words in parentheses with a one-word synonym to decipher a common phrase.

1. (Diversity) is the (zest) of (existence).

2. (Training) (creates) (excellence).

3. (Adoration) is (sightless).  

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Answers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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