Welcome, ‏to Monday July 19th.  Technology problems…..

One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company. He deals with the usual complaints regarding poor pager operation, as well as the occasional crank caller demanding to be paged less often, more often, or by more interesting people.

The best call came from a man who repeatedly complained that he keeps being paged by “Lucille.” He was instructed that he would have to call her and tell her to stop paging him.

“She don’t never leave no number, so I can’t call her back,” he said.

After three such calls, someone thought to ask how he knew it was Lucille if she didn’t leave a number.  

“She leaves her name,” was the reply.

After establishing that the customer had a numericonly pager, the light bulb came on.

“How does she spell her name?” the service rep asked.

“L-O-W C-E-L-L”

Another problem solved. Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here! 
 
q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y 

“It takes time to raise about 25 children. I know, I have two myself. Thats plenty. Mine are twins, though. Both of them. They’re awfully cute. I can’t think of their names. They don’t come when I call them anyway.” –Victor Borge 

After playing 18 holes of golf, our foursome was sitting around the clubhouse settling our bets when another golfer stormed in. Fuming after a lousy round, he slammed down his scorecard and announced, “If I wasn’t married, I’d give this stupid game up!” 

“For those who may not know this: When the preacher says, & You may now kiss the bride, he’s only speaking to the groom.” – David Gunter 

“A 74-year-old man just became the oldest father in Britain after his wife had a baby boy. They even named the baby after him “Grandpa” -Jimmy Fallon  
G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s

A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin. “Listen to
this,” he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. “It says I’m energetic, bright, resourceful and a great
lover.” “Yeah,” his wife said peeking at the card, “and it has your weight wrong, too.”

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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “I can’t believe I gave my panties to a geek.”

Answer: Sixteen Candles! This was said by Molly Ringwald in “Sixteen Candles” (1984). It was her “sweet sixteenth” birthday and it was anything but special as she suffered from every embarrassment possible. The ‘geek’ in the movie was played by Michael Anthony Hall and they were at a school dance when he asked such a thing of her. He was just trying to look cool in front of his friends and wanted a little keepsake. 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from????  Truvy: “I kind of like hiring somebody with a past.” Clairee: “She can’t be more than eighteen. She hasn’t had time to have a past.” Truvy: “Oh get with it, Clairee. This is the eighties. If you can achieve puberty, you can achieve a past.” 

TODAY’S MOVIE DIVIA AWARD GOES TO MS. CARRIE PALOMBO! SUPER SOLVING JOB CARRIE!  

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Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2008, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “They’re all so beautiful and clean, when the housemaids scrub the floors, they get the spaces in between…”  

ANSWER: Beverly Hills! “Beverly Hills” debuted on the Billboard Hot 100 on April 16th, 2005 at number 25. It spent its only week at number ten on October 8th, 2005 and racked up an impressive forty weeks in the top forty during its long chart run. While appearing to be a sarcastic song about the glamorous life in Hollywood, writer Rivers Cuomo contended that it represented a “totally sincere desire” to belong to that world. Appealing to the Modern Rock crowd, Weezer took this to the top of that chart for one week in addition to reaching the top ten in the United Kingdom.    

Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005 try and identify which song or which artist.” “Come, run, run, run, run, everybody move, run, let me see you move, run, rock it to the groove, done…”

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Friday’s Quizzler is..  

Replace each word or words in parentheses with a one-word synonym to decipher a common phrase.
1. (Diversity) is the (zest) of (existence).
2. (Training) (creates) (excellence).
3. (Adoration) is (sightless).   

Answer: 1. Variety is the spice of life.
2. Practice makes perfect.
3. Love is blind.     

Monday’s Quizzler is…  

Hidden in each sentence is a word. For example, in the sentence: When I grow up, I want to be a ranger. (Hidden animal) The hidden word is BEAR from “to BE A Ranger”. Now, try to identify the hidden colors in the sentences below:

I agree not to eat all the food.
Bob decided to jump in, knowing that this is his only choice.
The sunset makes Cairo seem magnificent.
Some states ship lumber and coal on canal barges. 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5! GREAT QUIZZING JAZZZZZZ!  

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Answers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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