Welcome, ‏to Friday August 13th. M A R R I A G E  Q U O T E S 101….
 
All marriages are happy–it’s the living together afterward that causes all the problems.

Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control.

Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn’t agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don’t love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions.

It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing.

May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead.

May you learn to perform miracles: earn a living and marry off your daughters.

May your daughters marry men of substance: gypsies with two bears.

Sign in a marriage counselor’s window: “Out to lunch – Think it over.”

The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage.

There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards – only physics and war hold him in check And the wife who wants him home by five, of course. — Encyclopaedia Apocryphia, hey I’m just saying! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!  
 
Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y 

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. Groucho Marx 

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. Josh Billings 

A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat. Erma Bombeck 

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. George Bernard Shaw 

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. Groucho Marx 

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. Bob Hope 

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. H. L. Mencken 

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. Steven Wright   
  
G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

A guy is walking past a high, solid wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, “Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!”  He continues walking along the long fence, but, being a curious person, he can’t help but wonder why they are chanting “Thirteen!” over and over. Could it be that they are chugging beer? Are they perhaps taking turns beating one of the inmates? Maybe they are counting the number of patients that have leapt off of the roof thus far. His curiosity peaks and he frantically searches for a hole in the fence so that he may see what is going on. Finally, he spots one a few feet ahead. The hole is low in the fence and he has to kneel down to peer inside. He moves into position and peeks into the hole. As he looks in, someone inside pokes him in the eye! Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, “Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!” 
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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “Components. American components, Russian Components, all made in Taiwan!”

Answer: Armageddon! In “Armageddon” when the astronauts are attempting to get off of the asteroid, the ship they are in will not power up. Watts, an American astronaut, attempts to fix the shuttle’s engines when the Russian Cosmonaut, Lev Andropov, says “Excuse me, but I think I know how to fix this.” Watts replies to him “Move it! You don’t know the components!” To which Lev replies, “Components. American components, Russian Components, all made in Taiwan!” At which point he takes a large tool, bangs the panel and the ship starts up.   

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from????   “‘Greater good’? I am your wife! I’m the greatest good you are ever gonna get!”?  

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Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005, try and identify which song or which artist.” “Look at your watch now, you’re still a super hot female, you got your million-dollar contract, and they’re all waiting for your hot track.” 

ANSWER:  Gwen Stefani! Gwen Stefani joined No Doubt when she was 17 years old and remained their lead vocalist for 17 years!

Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005 try and identify which song or which artist.” “You won’t get no nookie or the cookies, I’m no rookie, and still I’m sexy, independent, I ain’t wit’ it, so you already know, I’m not bein’ too dramatic, that’s the way I gotta have it.”

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Thursday’s Quizzler is..  
In this teaser, I have given you 4 words. Beside each word is a series of letter groupings. Your task is to find the answer to the word on the left by choosing one letter from each of the letter groups to the right of each clue.

Example:

Statuette: fro evi gse rpu lor nai ngd rep

Answer:

Fgo evI Gse rpU loR naI Ngd rEp = FIGURINE

1. Building: ant uhp yte alk ttr wrq ase
2. Kettledrum: qwt gig hjm klp all rnq tti
3. Image: ppo ghi kcl axt dug     

Answer:  1. Building: THEATRE
2. Kettledrum: TIMPANI
3. Image: PICTURE
4. Music: SOUND 

Friday’s Quizzler is…   

What does this represent?

To possess ocular receptors in the posterior portion of a cephalic protuberance.  

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Answers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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