Welcome, ‏to Monday August 18th.  Miscellaneous terms for Monday…….
 
Arbitrator \ar’-bi-tray-ter\: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s.

Avoidable \uh-voy’-duh-buhl\: What a bullfighter tries to do.

Baloney \buh-lo’-nee\: Where some hemlines fall.

Bernadette \burn’-a-det\: The act of torching a mortgage.

Burglarize \bur’-gler-ize\: What a crook sees with.

Counterfeiters \kown-ter-fit-ers\: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

Eclipse \e-klips’\: What an English barber does for a living.

Eyedropper \i’-drop-ur\: A clumsy ophthalmologist.

Heroes \hee’-rhos\: What a guy in a boat does.

Left Bank \left’ bangk’\: What the robber did when his bag was full of loot.

Misty \mis’-tee\: How golfers create divots.

Paradox \par’-uh-doks\: Two physicians.

Parasites \par’-uh-sites\: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

Pharmacist \farm’-uh-sist\: A helper on the farm.

Polarize \po’-lur-ize\: What penguins see with.

Hey I’m just saying! Have a comfortable Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!  
 
Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y 

Rodney Dangerfield, I get no respect 101
 
“Good crowd…good crowd. I’m telling you I could use a good crowd. I’m ok now but last week I was in rough shape… Why? I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.”

“I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great Uncle fought for the west!”

“My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.”

“When I was born..the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father…I’m very sorry. We did everything we could…but he pulled through.”

“My mother had morning sickness after I was born.”

“My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.”

“When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.”

“I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”

“What a dog I got. His favorite bone is in my arm!”    
  
G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table. Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes he’s absentmindedly finished the entire bowl. “I’m so sorry, auntie, I’ve eaten all of your peanuts!”  “That’s okay, dearie,” the aunt replied. “After I’ve sucked the chocolate off, I don’t care for them anyway.”
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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “‘Greater good’? I am your wife! I’m the greatest good you are ever gonna get!”?  

Answer: The Incredibles! While the evil Syndrome is wreaking havoc throughout the city, Lucious (a.k.a. Frozone) and his wife, Honey, are at home getting ready to go out to dinner. When Lucious asks Honey where his super-suit is she tells him that she put it away and reminds him that she’s be planning this evening for a while. He tells her “You tell me where my suit is woman! We are talking about the greater good!” To which she replies “‘Greater good’? I am your wife! I’m the greatest good you are ever gonna get!”  

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from????  “Klaatu barada nikto”

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Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “You won’t get no nookie or the cookies, I’m no rookie, and still I’m sexy, independent, I ain’t wit’ it, so you already know, I’m not bein’ too dramatic, that’s the way I gotta have it.”

ANSWER:  Goodies! Ciara, who had been hailed as the First Lady of Crunk and B, released “Goodies” when there was only one other Crunk and B song out there, Usher’s “Yeah”.

Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005 try and identify which song or which artist.” “You’ll never stop me, nothing you say today, is gonna bring me down,(shut up, shut up, shut up),is gonna bring me down…”

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Friday’s Quizzler is..  
What does this represent?

To possess ocular receptors in the posterior portion of a cephalic protuberance. 

Answer: Have eyes in the back of one’s head.   

Monday’s Quizzler is…   

I have given you a starting word (a clue). Your job is to fill in the blanks with a 4-letter word that matches the clue already given. This 4-letter word must complete the 7-letter word next to it. Have fun!

1. Therefore = ? = V_ _ TI _ _
2. Whirl = ? = A _ _ IR _ _
3. Demeanour = ? = A _ B _ _ _ T
4. Shoestring = ? = G _ _ _ I _ R 

TODAYS QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5!  GREAT QUIZZ SOLVING JAZZZZZ!

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Answers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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